9 comments on “I CHOOSE TO STAND

  1. Rezinate, you are one of the strongest, most intelligent, and spiritually elevated of the people. I don’t see you as living in the past. You have taken the horror that happened to you and the others in your family at the hands of a monster and you have integrated it into your being. Like markers along a path, it has made you someone who can convey the past, present and future of the nations. I say this for no other reason than it is the truth. People think, we as the children of our ancestors, live in some kind of time warp, when actually our dispossession has forced us to the perimeter of every extreme. Death is never far away and perhaps it us who understand this better than most.

    I also had the opportunity to kill my brother, who inflicted tremendous physical damage on me that I deal with to this day. The day after he attacked me I was sitting in the driver’s seat of my sister’s car who had run into the store for a moment. My abuser drove his tow truck up right in front of me, got out and laid right on the ground in front of me to hook up another car. He never saw me. I could have killed the bastard right then and there. I had my chance. But I used every bit of restraint in me. I decided I would save my parents a funeral and a murder trial, even though he had nearly killed me the day before. And even though everyone eventually decided to scapegoat me because they feared him.

    I can recall those seconds that I wanted to kill him as easy as if it were this morning. I don’t forgive him and I don’t forgive those who turned on me. That forgiveness crap is for weird religions who need to victimize the victim further. Without justice there is no healing. In former days this would have been taken care of through the tribal community. But it doesn’t mean we have to let it destroy us. Whatever they throw at us, we take it, or fight it or outsmart it. But they can never, never, never make us give up. Not even those related to us who are poisoned. Not until we decide ourselves to take our last breath.

    • “People think, we as the children of our ancestors, live in some kind of time warp, when actually our dispossession has forced us to the perimeter of every extreme. Death is never far away and perhaps it us who understand this better than most.”
      “Without justice there is no healing. In former days this would have been taken care of through the tribal community. But it doesn’t mean we have to let it destroy us. Whatever they throw at us, we take it, or fight it or outsmart it. But they can
      never, never, never make us give up. Not even those related to us who are poisoned. Not until we decide ourselves to take our last breath.”

      I don’t think anyone could say these things better than you have Mary, and in surviving a hell of your own you offer further proof that no one need be a product of their environment – as to forgiveness I have never thought of it as an obligation. I suppose on some level we should be willing to, but that is an individual choice dependent on a variety of things, the most important being genuine contrition and the desire to make things right, or at least attempt to.
      Of my family who existed in that chaotic bedlam I alone remain, and whatever foundation I may have I attribute to the values I was taught and the importance of traditions by my mother, my “second mother”, elders, and true warriors of both genders.
      My family consists of not only those in the immediacy but the nations at large, and I have no desire to see any suffer or live their life as an act of endurance – neither do I have any tolerance for those who further such things whether they are of the nations or not.
      If that makes me a “cop”, “fed”, or “sellout” as some would say then so be it …. I won’t be losing any sleep over such opinions.
      I appreciate the kind words, but I aspire only to be a true human being as the nations have understood it.

  2. Thank you Rezinate. Yes, I think you and I well understand the power of reconciliations, however they are few and far between. Forgiveness is no excuse for letting a criminal off the hook.

    • Agreed. In the issues you, I, and others address those with little or no viable
      rebuttal often resort to calling people “haters”- as if that somehow suffices to
      negate guilt and responsibility.
      I think it’s obvious I loathe the pretense of the AIM leadership and Peltier, and
      I believe the reasons for doing so are valid.
      Banks- a man with 28 children from multiple women and a liar who would present himself
      as a man of the nations, a “spiritual leader”. A man with the blood of innocent victims
      on his hands.
      Means- a serial liar and con artist who spent his adult life either pimping women or the
      nations.
      Clyde Bellecourt – a convicted drug dealer attempting to masquerade as an incorporated
      movement and advocate for the 7th generation.
      Vernon Bellecourt – a man who loved titles and former head of AIM’s gestapo, a one time
      hairdresser who found his true calling in weaving lies rather than braids.
      Crow Dog – the nations version of a foaming at the mouth, twist and shout, “fundamentalist” televangelist.
      Peltier – an ignorant thug whose entire carefully crafted image has no more substance than
      a passing wisp of air.
      All with blood on their hands and all liars.
      No forgiveness for them, no reconciliation – both of which to their way of thinking means not be held to account – to be let off the hook.

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