Having blogged about goataphobia reminds me of story grandfather told involving a goat.
Seems as though this particular goat found anyone bending over as presenting an irresistible target – if you bent over to pick something up or for any reason and the goat was in proximity you should have known better.
Being a child when grandfather became the target he sometimes would be sent tumbling, and at times wound up with a few scrapes or bruises, which he found unsettling and entirely unwarranted, but also something of a challenge.
Seeking the counsel of others he struck upon a plan to stuff an appropriate size piece of wood inside his pants, then with a bravado and confidence born of innocence flagrantly approached the goat, turned his back, bent over, and offered himself as a target.
Things didn’t exactly go well as wood doesn’t really provide a cushion.
Embarrassed by the laughter of his peers he retreated to study a different approach, in doing so he came to the conclusion that what was needed was padding, like a pillow or blanket, and the thicker the better.
Not having a pillow he settled upon his blanket, but the more he thought about it the more he came to the conclusion that two blankets were better than one, something that makes sense to me also.
So he set about securing another blanket, which happened to be his mothers, a favorite of hers for the colors and design.
The immediate problem was that grandfather had more or less outgrown the jeans he was wearing, they were too small to accommodate the blankets, so he rummaged around and finding a pair of his older brother’s put those on and rolled up the legs so as not to trip over them.
Congratulating himself on this well thought out strategy he ventured forth in search of the goat clutching the waistband to keep his brother’s pants from falling and the blankets in just the right position.
Grandfather acknowledges now this loose fit should have been recognized for the possible threat it presented, that perhaps a rope run through the belt loops and tied to keep them in place would have been wisdom – but so enamored by the sheer genius of the two blanket approach and the idea of emerging unscathed and triumphant the thought never entered his mind.
Needless to say it all went south, pants included as they dropped to his knees upon assuming the position – and to this day grandfather is convinced as an abject lesson by his adversary meant to demonstrate the folly of attempting to fool him he was struck harder.
Payback, karma, justice, a matter of necessity, or whatever you prefer to call it came at a later date in the form of an empty pantry and hungry children when the offender became what’s for supper.
And his mother’s favorite blanket? Once being exposed as the pants dropped with nothing to keep it in place it suffered a noticeable tear.
Inspite of all this grandfather never suffered from goataphobia and readily admits his plan was something less than flawless, and in fact says he likes goats, especially the little ones who romp and jump about.
But that’s grandfather’s way, he’s not one to be unduly influenced by the vagaries of life, a lack of padding, or carry a grudge.