1. I don’t know about your other readers but I could read your memories every day! It’s not often we can get a glimpse of a past like that. It does seem like a wonder, you remained intact! Seems to me, you were quite fearless. How much fun would that be? I think I was born afraid of taking chances. Even as a child, I was never very adventurous, I think that’s why I read so much. I lived through the adventures of others. A wild imagination yet afraid to do anything myself.

    • Memories are probably the only form of time travel we will ever know, sort of
      jumping through a mental worm hole.
      In retrospect my adventures were probably equal parts a lack of fear and not
      having enough sense to know better, not much I wasn’t up for and had the associated
      bumps, bruises, and knots on my head to show for it – thought at times by me to be
      badges of honor.
      A lot of it had to do with living where and as we did, had we of been in a town
      things would have been different, but I’ve seen and been to towns and they aren’t
      my preference – too much congestion, noise, and drama.
      A curious thing about memories is both good and bad exist in something like an
      automated filing system that can bring them to the forefront after being triggered
      by an event, something we see, or something we hear, and it all comes down to those
      we will entertain, and for some those who allow a memory to take possession and
      govern their lives.
      Sometimes when I see children playing and doing the things they do I think to myself
      about the memories they are creating and believe an obligation exists for adults and
      parents to make an effort to insure that when they become time travelers their memories
      will inspire a laugh or good feeling.
      A funny thing is the way grandmother will good naturedly recount the events at the river involving the otter saying she wanted to gift me to the otters but they weren’t having it and pushed me back.

      • “A funny thing is the way grandmother will good naturedly recount the the events at the river involving the otter saying she wanted to gift me to the otters but they weren’t having it and pushed me back.”

        That is precious, she sounds like an amazing woman!

      • She is amazing, and hopefully her recounting is indeed
        a joke…… being rejected by otters isn’t much of a
        resume filler.

      • I bet he was thinking he was saving you. 😉
        What a remarkable thing to have happened. There has to be some meaning behind it. Those things don’t happen everyday.

      • Being animists as we are we believe it had meaning,
        but it isn’t something I spend time pondering over
        or talking up – just mentioned it in passing as
        part of the memories.
        I have no memory of it though I do have a couple from
        around the same age – one being a group of people riding
        up and me being lifted to sit on horse with one them, and
        another of being in a corral(?) and being placed on a horse
        then held in place while being led around.
        Everything else pretty much a blank until I grew a little
        older, though surprised my mother said the memories were

      • We believe we have spirit helpers that can arrive at birth, during a vision quest
        or other times – grandmother’s interpretation was that otters are one of my helpers,
        others confirming the same.
        Otters speak to a number of things, among them a sense humor, inquisitiveness,
        very family oriented not hesitating to defend their own, especially their young,
        and able to figure things out.
        Their association with water is a plus.
        Different nations may have different opinions- an example would be owls, some
        believe they portend death or trouble and others don’t. Some are suspicious of
        crows and other believe they can be a protector.
        In consideration of these things grandmother never had a fear of my log riding,
        water presenting any kind of threat to me or lightning during a rain storm.
        Once on horseback during the middle of a downpour lightning struck a tree in
        close proximity to me – the impact was such it knocked the horse off his feet
        and we both took a tumble, neither of us being hurt though.
        The recounting rattled my mother but not grandmother who just nodded her head
        and said helpers.

  2. I love your posts.

    Here’s my river story! I grew up in New England an hour outside of NYC. In the early/mid 70s my girlfriend wanted to swim in the river just after a rainstorm. I told her I thought that wouldn’t be wise because a massive heavy log just went rushing past us & normally the water was calm. There was an 1830s mill building there w/ a stone dam waterfall built for the mill. The log went speeding over the edge of it. She went in & then I didn’t see her anymore. Then I heard her yelling. I thought she was yelling ‘Come in! Come in!’ from down river. When I went in up to my thighs the force of the water was so strong I couldn’t move to turn around & get out. I knew my only hope was to yield to the water. So I went farther in & tried to swim w/ it toward the side of the fall near the mill where some long vines hung over the falls. I was able to get to those and hang onto them until I had to let go & be swept over the jagged stones of the dam/waterfall. At the bottom I was able to swim in the rushing water to the bank & take hold of some vines (? or something… branches maybe…) & pull myself out. When I turned around I saw my friend was stranded in the center of some rocks in the middle of the river. I had to convince her to walk out over some slippery rocks – which took awhile because she was terrified. She had been yelling “DON’T come in!” Lol. NOT “Come in!”

    Your story reminded me of this because when we got home to her house her mother was completely disinterested after we began to tell her how we nearly drowned. Despite that we were nearly in tears because we were going to take her five year old sister swimming w/ us but decided not to at the last minute. When I got home & told my own mother what happened she had no reaction either. And we were only twelve or thirteen years old.

    My brother fell through river ice once & my other brother (younger than him) helped him out by lying flat & extending his jacket he’d taken off for him to take hold of. I think he learned it in the Boy Scouts! This was in the 60s.

    I was raised by an animist grandmother also. Only she didn’t call it that of course. She was born in a part of Germany that is now Poland. The Christians came there & then left again for a few hundred years & for that reason some people there retained some ancient indigenous Nordic folk beliefs/practices. She was a Krauterfrau – which means an Herbwoman. She was born in the 19th c. So much of that healing is belief. Such as believing that relatives who have gone to the other side will come in dreams to tell us what to eat & drink or what not to eat & drink (!) to get better. Beside the herbs & the small ritual practises. I stay way from the neo-pagan people because they make things up. I don’t talk about the beliefs I was raised in except very rarely w/ similar peoples.

    On my dad’s side we are indigenous Aramaens from the south of Lebanon. We were occupied by the State of Israel & I am a Palestinian advocate & Arab American advocate. I almost posted on a 2012 post you had here on Leonard Crow Dog because I met him – knew him a bit – in 1978 when I was 17. My good friend an Apache musician eleven years older than me was friends w/ Leonard & Mary Crow dog (& other AIM members etc.). Everything you wrote made a lot of sense from what I saw then. I was in Woodstock NY to attend the Art Students League summer school for two months. (The school course was shorter – but I stayed till autumn because I love the mountains despite that town is pretentious & weird). Leonard Crow Dog was there sitting on the tiny town green every day surrounded by Euro-Americans. Groupies really. Chief among them was a woman named Roxanne. (She later began the Burts Bees Cosmetics Co. & became a millionaire). Mary had left for back home to the reservation & their children. We stayed away from them. (My friend & I). It was like he was holding court. And as a person of colour & an ‘Arab’ who looks like I just climbed out of a black goathair tent I have Euro-Americans falsely fawning over me sometimes also – but it makes me really uncomfortable & I pull away from such people… as I feel like they are othering me. Like I’m a fairytale creature. So I couldn’t understand why he was holding court there. It was really weird to me!

    Sorry for my novel here! I take a lot of dross from Euro-Americans for how many words I use. I haven’t mastered the soundbite. Nor do I want to – which people can’t get their head round – as I come from two storytelling cultures. Most importantly – I love your art/photographs! (I’m an artist also. A goldsmith. Prior to that I studied drawing & sculpting & printmaking). Three traditional Arab kisses xxx

    • Sounds as though you and your friend had a harrowing experience, it is a story well told and I appreciate it.
      I’ve heard people say they wished they knew when a child what they know now – I think it could be said maybe as well we should wish we knew or hadn’t forgotten some of what we knew as children.
      As a child it was all about elders, grandmothers, and grandfathers telling stories handed down through generations – I see photos or Norman Rockwell paintings of families gathered around radios before the advent or television and it reminds me that in a very real way the story tellers of my childhood had the equivalency of radios – we didn’t have television or a radio though both had come to be.
      The huge majority of the nations never had a written language as writing is understood, we had winter counts, petroglyphs, and story tellers, who were in essence historians, living repositories of who we were, where came from, and how we came to be.
      Though my childhood was not that long ago by today’s parenting standards I’m confident non indigenous parents would shudder at the thought of their child doing some of the things I did, perhaps marvel at the cultural differences, and yet here I am and one day when I am elder or grandfather I will tell the stories told me.
      “Civilization” in it’s quasi sophistication has forgotten a great many things, among them that all of humanity began as tribes, that all were animists – whether such beliefs are perceived as having a place in modern society or merely quaint anachronisms is irrelevant to me.
      I was born in a traditional way, raised in accordance with that, and attempt to live my life observing traditions – like you I avoid what is “made up”.
      I am an advocate for sovereign nations and sovereign people whoever they are and wherever they are found – I believe Creator gave an understanding to all people based on geographic location and culture, an understanding all too often corrupted, and so I will not entertain romantic notions or pander to them.
      This corruption and unwillingness is part and parcel of my rejection of individuals like Crow Dog and the AIM leadership.
      The talents you mention are gifts, gifts that if cultivated often lead to additional talents as yet undiscovered and you are to be commended for them.
      A small world as I too have been to Woodstock a few years ago though passing through after having been to Onondaga and heading into Canada.
      Thank you for your “novel” and kind words – be well and stay strong.

  3. PS: A group of famous writers & artists from my hometown outside NYC helped get Leonard Crow Dog released from jail in the 70s. (& attempted to get Leonard Peltier released). They were all the parents of people I knew or in one case a landlord of a friend. (A writer who hosted the release party for Leonard & Mary at his house. Mary later wrote of it in her first book. My friend rented a room in that beach house. Lol. The first time I walked in I asked why there was a stuffed crow & a dog of some sort next to the fireplace in front of the door. It was left over from that party where it had been part of some sort of welcome decorations). The most famous of these writers was the father of my brother’s high school girlfriend who was Cree. Her writer father & his wife were Jewish & had adopted her as an infant. (In the late 50s when Native babies were basically stolen… let’s be honest…). So I think the explanation for what you were writing about began w/ getting a lot of sudden attention from NYC writers & artists…

    For a happy turn – my brother’s Cree friend married a Native man & became a teacher in Arizona in a NA school…

    • “began w/ getting a lot of sudden attention from NYC writers & artists…”

      Could very well be as AIM always cultivated celebrities, kind of SOP
      for them thinking it translated to validation……not to mention
      My personal opinion is Crow Dog is stuffed, which is another way of
      saying full of it.
      As their “market” has dwindled they seem to have increasingly focused
      on Japan and other foreign venues – especially Crow Dog.

  4. Thanks for your kind words. Especially about staying strong. I think something that we benefit from that we got from our grandparents is belief in another world that is at the same time not another world (unseen & seen world etc.). A circle or natural year vs. a linear concept w/ some kind of finality at the end. So then our strength is just to bite down hard when things get horrible & be patient as nothing is permanent & nothing ends & we are part of everything. That’s my strength. It is as you said a true gift to have been raised w/ that from our grandmothers/fathers.

    I think that science is slowly catching up to what we already know. Re. what they are finding out about dna & epigenetics where things are passed through generations. My grandmother had prophetic dreams & once was visted by an ancestor who passed & I had them also & sometimes knew things I was not meant to know & then LOL! my tiny neice had the same thing – beginning age three! She would know things well before they happened. Like my grandmother & I.

    I don’t talk about it w/ Euro-Americans though. Because I’m a really thoughtful rational person & I hate the way they make assumptions & judge before getting to know people. They assume you are mad. Simply because they have lost the spirit knowledge that their elders had years ago. One can still speak to English people for example about having seen a spirit without them assuming one is mad.

    Looking back it is really funny the way I grew up because I was living in this house built in 1960 in New England – but in a manner of magic realism completely unlike my neighbours & friends! My mother who is from Berlin would send me out into the wood behind our house to forage for plants to put in salads. My grandmother would send me into the wildflower field adjacent to our property to gather straw to tie into a cross wrapped w/ red yarn or thread which she would spit on three times & then send me back out to bury in the garden after it was placed over whatever ailment. (These things work best on children because they believe so beautifully). Lol – I don’t think the neighbours were doing that in Connecticut. We were like the Adams family. Because beside that our house looked like the inside of a tent. Oriental carpets everywhere & I ate at a low table & we ate Arabic food w/ our hands. My friends mother was horrified when she learned that we ate raw meat. Lol! She came to pick up my friend & whilst talking to my mom put her ground beef in the freezer. Only we eat it raw & as I thought it was my mother’s I raided it for a few mouthfuls. Lol! She was horrified. In that completely silent way that Euro-Americans are/were… in the early 70s.

    The only trouble is it is isolating for people whose family raises them in animism but are surrounded by people here who don’t understand it. For example as we believe everything is alive/has spirit I am very conscious of where I put things when ‘throwing them out’ since there is no such thing! Luckily I live near a stream & certain special pieces of broken crockery etc. I send to the underworld to my ancestors (I lucked out as that is both the German AND Lebanese tradition). But I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t live near a stream. And it drives me mad when people waste things & don’t recycle. The total disconnect from so called objects. As we believe even dolls get spirits in them. So you can’t throw them out without being aware of that. This is a Japanese Shinto belief also. They bring all old dolls to priests. Anyway – my point is it is not easy. One of these days I may be arrested for throwing an old broken doll in a river & won’t be able to explain myself to the police!

    When I was a toddler I saw a man at the end of my bed wearing a white kefiyah (long scarf wrapped around the head) & white thob (long men’s frock). He was tiny w/ very delicate features & very dark skin. I’d never seen this kind of clothing before. When I screamed for my mother he would disappear. She told me it was a dream. So then I would shut my eyes & open them but he was still there. When I went to go crawl in my grandmother’s bed the attic door was open. (At two in the morning only after seeing this man). Years later I found out that the large estate that our house was built on operated as an underground railroad for enslaved people fleeing north. The estate owner was a NYC railroad businessman that hosted Lincoln at his house up the hill from ours. He was an abolishinist. Also the previous owners had ‘owned’ (= oppressed) enslaved people. I learned that some enslaved people were Muslim West Africans who wore that exact dress my visitor wore. I also learned that in New England where houses were small they lived in attics. But one can’t talk about these things except w/ other animists such as Native people without being thought to be mad. That’s the downside.

    My grandmother told me she would come to me in dreams to warn me of illness when she passed to the other world. I had a dream where she stood in our old back garden & stood by a grave w/ a staff tied with corn. She pointed into a grave filled w/ corn. Nearby was a church made of raw timber empty & unadorned aside from a table. On the table was a dish of cooked potatoes. She told me to eat potatoes w/ butter. I had not a clue what any of it meant! I wrote it down as her teaching me everything as a child was sacred to me. So every dream is her talking to me as she promised. I forgot about that dream. In the meantime I became deathly ill. I found out I have Celiac. Like a lot of Bedouin & Nordic & Native American people I cannot eat a vegetarian diet – which I’d tried for about ten years. It nearly killed me. I went back to eating animals. But after stopping eating wheat & Barley & rye I was better but still ill. Then I realised I could not eat corn either. At one point the only carbohydrate I could eat was potatoes. But I was getting dizzy because they are basically sugar. Then I read that when eaten w/ a fat they don’t hit the bloodstream & convert to sugar as rapidly. I got better. Finally. Then I was going through my papers & found the dream. In German the word for grain is Korn & for the vegetable it’s maize (from the Indigenous Native word as you know – but should others read this). So I think she was warning me – as she promised she would – about wheat/barley/rye called Korn & also corn/maize… & then the bowl of potato in an ancient wooden 10th c. looking church is self evident!

    I tell you these stories because it is really real that there is a spirit world people journey to. How else can one explain the above. Except to say that someone who experiences these things is mad? Lol. That’s their only answer. But it’s isolating. There’s only like one fragment of the American populace that one can tell these things to. And I don’t mean the new-age people you were writing about! (A tell anyway as there are no separate ‘ages’!).

    Thanks for your blog here. In Arabic ‘Welcome’ means literally ‘Family’ + ‘Plateau’ & means you are w/ family in a place where you can walk w/ ease without climbing or tiring or falling. That’s what your blog feels like.

    • We hear often enough the term “muscle memory” but it is a genetic memory
      that creates a prediliction to language and culture, to young boys
      stalking the woods with a child’s bow and arrows searching for imaginary
      foes, to the natural fit sitting on a horse.
      The benefits produced by science cannot be denied nor their narrow sighted
      approach – the lack of balance so commonplace in today’s world.
      It has always appeared to me as science rails against all things spiritual
      or religious they would have themselves to be the new religion – I know
      a scientist or two who when discussing some phenomena they cannot explain
      like a rain dance that produces rain, or a healing ceremony produces positive
      results can offer no other opinion than it’s interesting – there’s a refusal
      or hesitancy to accept that something transcendentally “metaphysical” is taking
      place, that it’s more than interesting it is reality.
      An obstacle to acceptance is the making up you mentioned in a previous comment,
      the frauds and hoaxes associated with the “spiritualists” of yesteryear, today,
      and photoshopped images.
      There is a commercial aspect associated with much of this that lends itself
      to a lack of credibility and why I have often railed about the appropriation
      of culture – something is culturally vacuumed up and becomes a dish to serve
      with additional ingredients.
      Spirits surround us and it is secondary whether they are referred to as
      angels, guides, or helpers – but that can be a two sided coin depending on
      belief or the lack of it.
      People can go off the deep end with their imagination, live within a
      balance, or go through life never knowing or believing.
      I believe children are closer to these spirits, their minds yet to be
      cluttered by the world – grandmother will say when a sleeping infant
      smiles they are in the presence of a good birth spirit and I have no
      reason to doubt her.
      An obligation exists in the beliefs of man to do no harm, sadly that
      is the seldom the case – I believe in the things I believe in based
      not on wishful thinking or fancy but what I have personally seen and
      Mentioning raw meat and the Adams family led me to remember when my
      mother would be cutting up a piece of meat she would always give me a
      piece and tell me I was her wolf pup – I imagine some would have thought
      we were if not the Adams family a primitive throwback.
      As to recycling we live in the “convenience” of a disposable throw away
      world, use it and toss it.
      Your comments have been educational – new words and insights into other
      cultures – I appreciate it.
      I’m wondering if you have a blog where you display your art, would be
      interested in checking it out if you do – if not I would encourage you
      to create one.

      • A thousand times everything you’ve said. My mother would drink blood. Lol. That is not part of the cuisine – but she was literally starving in Berlin at the end of the war. It was nourishing food to her even that many years after the war in the States. I know some African herding people do that by lightly slitting the animals throat without killing it – in order to survive. Believe me when I say I have never told this to anyone before. (Surprise world!). This was just the spoonful left on the plate whilst cutting meat to cook… but still… And I’m not implying there was any meat to eat *during* the war (or anything else) – this was years later. Another name for that is PTSD!

        That’s such an adorable raw meat/”wolf pup” story! I got a wave of electricity coursing through w/ that one. So cute! I love her now too. We ate goose fat on bread. I’m sure there must be some way to eat fat in Native cuisine also. (Plains etc. – obviously not mostly vegetarian tribes such as the Hopi). It’s amazing. W/ salt lol!

        re. Science = peoples “religion”. This I’ve been thinking for years but stopped saying it as people get so militant about it. My brother’s then girlfriend was so angry at me when I calmly stated that some people believe in science like a religion that she sabotaged my work at a job we shared! Lol. I was so hurt I cried in the bathroom & quit.

        Science is great but it’s not absolute – it’s in constant flux. It’s simply a method of inquiry not some final truth. And then they say they have answers for inexplicable things. Such as the two examples I gave you. The spirit visitation as a young child & the dream from my grandmother who passed warning me of my illness BEFORE I knew I had it. I have literally told my mother a dream I had & then it came true. So there are witnesses. But they will just make up all sorts of explanations. Lol. And now physicists are finally acknowledging that it may be possible that time happens ‘all at once’. Well we’ve been saying that.

        I remember when the Soviet Union opened up & some Alaskan & Russian Native cousins that had not been allowed to visit each other since the 1950s finally did so on *small* boats. And I was thinking ‘Really?!’ … So we all have to buy this walked across the Bering Strait theory during whenever (I’m bad w/ numbers!) & these cousins took motor boats?! Lol.

        Astonishing. And when your people say you came from the Earth itself. How is that not in sync w/ evolution. Just theoretically. It’s not like people are going to describe things like a 19th & 20th c. person of European heritage. It’s like when people think Allah is ‘a’ God vs simply the word for God for Arabic & Aramaic (Syriac/Syrian) speaking Jews/Christians/Muslims. Like we must use the Germanic word. Lol. Sorry… losing your thread in anger…

        Honestly at least half of the indigenous remedies my grandmother used for healing (sour cranberry juice for urinary infections etc.) have since been found by scientific research to have great value.

        And Arabs used to use hashish for muscle cramps & yogurt or wine for exfoliating skin… which was repackaged in the last 30 yrs as a skin pharmaceutical. Arabs have used music for healing also & now science is finally taken that seriously. (Their called neurons people. Music affects our hearing & brains & hence nervous system).

        But my mother was constantly told that something was ‘an old wives tale’. As if elderly women weren’t front & center before every bleeding retching person for thousands of years.

        On the other hand there is the fakery you mention that clouds things that we hold sacred as well. Like Wicca – one of my pet loathes. They claim ‘witches’ were beloved wise women. No – beloved wise women *accused* of being ‘witches’ were actually themselves against ‘witches’. This is simply verifiable in Germanic legends of the Gods & in various pre-Christian historical accounts (by those who wrote such as Romans & Arabs) & in pre-Christian folk practises passed down through the ages. They invent this false past where nobody was ever sacrificed in a peat bog & there was no enslavement of people from other tribes. It’s comic. And honestly people – neopagans – what is w/ the high school production of the medieval European era clothing.

        Regarding the art. I am hopelessly inept online (a bit amazed by your photography skills) hence most likely no blog or website in future. But your confidence means a lot. What I have done more of in the last twenty years is write an ocean of poems. Perhaps I’ll throw one up here if there is some relevance. And anger people w/ some of those. Get myself arrested for posting poetry… Like the Palestinian Authority just arrested a kid for posting something critical on Facebook.

      • Grandmother is a kind and gentle person whose belief in traditional ways have been validated by the decades of her existence and practicing them but I don’t believe it would go over well if any attempted to tell her to her face her beliefs are little more than old wives tales.
        Results in my opinion are the ultimate arbiter and what is left is either to accept or ignore them – I don’t believe an out of hand rejection is an example of intellectual prowess or the result of “critical thinking”.
        But so much of this is about upbringing and cultural norms, if you’re raised in a cultural that mocks or denigrates such beliefs the overwhelming odds are you will do likewise save an ephiphanol moment.
        Both freedom of speech and artistic expression are being assailed in this country – “the great shining of beacon of liberty”, word and thought police abound, lists are being compiled, to surrender either or be cowed into a submissive meticulous dotting of every i and crossing every t only lends itself to that.
        I’ve gone after new agers in the blog not for their beliefs but for the cultural vacuuming of our beliefs which has led to a marketable commodity and a corruption that in turn has led others to believe they are actually expressive of our beliefs when they are not.
        A corruption that led some among our own to don a bonnet, call themselves a chief, and go on about being ambassadors of aliens.
        Interesting that such people call themselves traditionalists.
        None reside in ivory towers, not any among our own or in the scientific community, and I know of no one so elevated as to walk on water though there are many I have great respect for.
        My greatest fear is that assimilation as vehicle may one day lead to Smithsonian exhibits of a vanishing culture and who we really were.
        The relocation act and the boarding schools were part of strategy to assimilate and solve “the ndn problem”, I believe it remains part of the approach.
        There is a profound difference between adaptation and assimilation, as nations we are obliged of necessity to adapt to the environment that surrounds us – we drive vehicles, surf the net, some may even have credit cards and banking accounts, but we are not and should not surrender the essence of who we are and what has defined us as distinct cultures.

        I wouldn’t say the way you present yourself online is inept, in fact anything but – you well versed and knowledgeable – but I can also understand hesitancy when it comes to blogging or a site having experienced that myself and do to this day in saying I haven’t posted photos I consider to be real keepers as I consider them them to be highly personal and don’t want them scooped up by others.
        I’ve threatened at times to post such “keepers” but so far that has amounted to little more than an idle threat.
        Should the occasion arise you are of mind to add a poem here or feel free – I have a friend who is a budding author considering going the ebook route, that could possibly be an avenue for your “ocean” of poetry.
        Science is careful to amend their offerings with words like “theory”, many that prove to be correct, but a theory remains a theory and and not endowed with infallibility.
        Climate change for instance is indisputable, attempting to clone animals (or make them glow in the dark) and at some point humans
        is entirely unacceptable and amounts to little more than the stereotypical mad scientists playing with his toys.
        The search for habitable planets is an abject waste of money that could be better spent to address the growing issues on this planet.
        There is no such planet that if discovered we would ever be capable of reaching.
        Somewhere in the midst of this is the weaponization of space, it’s what men and governments do.
        The Bering Strait may have some legitimacy when it comes to migration as historically people were nomadic, but in promoting the theory even the possibility that the nations truly are indigenous to this country/hemisphere has been summarily cast aside.
        I believe we are and that cracks in the “theory” are emerging.
        As to natural remedies they abound and I find it noteworthy that once science accepts one it is usually with a list of caveats until it becomes the product of a pharmaceutical company and synthesized.

      • That drives me crazy about Arabs also. We never had ‘Kings’. They were put in place by the occupying English & French who decided they could divide up our lands. We have ‘Sheiks’ but even that ONLY means a wise elderly person not a chief leader of the whole tribe.

        Correct me if I’m wrong but I read this was true here also for your people when the occupation began.

        What I read for both Arabs & Natives here is that the English ‘gentry’ occupiers (govt & military) did not want to talk to/associate w/ people they considered ‘peasants’ & ‘beggars’.

        Our traditional multi beaded amber & agate necklaces which I still make are called ‘beggars beads’. Even now by some. It drives me mad. British people still NOW use the word ‘bint’ to mean ‘whore’ – when it is our word for ‘girl’. GIRL not even woman. Not surprising when the Crusaders went raping across our lands. And on the way there in Europe also!

        Glad those Columbus statues are coming down also now. The priest on the ship recorded how appalled & horrified he was at all the raping of young girls & women. Yet Italians were videoed this last week about their ‘heritage’. No mention of child rapes! Astonishing. And anyway he sailed for Spain! Sorry… now I am really angry. Everytime I hear an Englishman use the word ‘bint’ for ‘whore’. Anyway you have to wonder about cultures that even have prostitutes. It can’t be ‘the oldest profession’ & ‘human nature’ etc. when it only exists/existed in certain cultures. It did not exist w/ your people for one. Nor did it exist w/ the Bedouin.

      • The oldest of professions are probably deceit and greed, they seem to
        have been elevated to a kingly status.
        Chiefs were generally representative of leadership ability, though
        some were hereditary – there were also war chiefs and peace chiefs.
        There has never been nor will there ever be a “chief of chiefs” as
        Crow Dog has labeled himself – bonnets and titles were earned, they
        weren’t a fashion statement or something to adorn all your sons with
        as Crow Dog has done with his made for youtube videos for those with
        romantic Hollywood expectations.
        As too otters they remain lifelong friends and grandmother says proof
        they were unwilling to accept such a “gift” was the immediate withdrawal
        once I was in her arms.
        Elders were held in high regard and their counsel sought after, a
        tradition AIM did everything they could to undermine as expressed
        by the ’99 Oyate statement where traditional elders and leadership
        went after AIM,the leadership, Dennis Bank$, and others.
        The words chief and warrior have become something of a cliche as they
        are being tossed about.
        History for the most has been written by the victors,a part of the
        coverup and indoctrination, as such it never tells the story in it’s
        Lincoln for example is portrayed as the great emancipator,and yet never
        did a single thing to emancipate the nations – in fact at one point he
        authorized the largest mass execution in this nations history by hanging
        thirty eight indigenous men – a number previously set at two hundred but
        reduced as the result of global outright and concerns about how it would
        impact perceptions.
        L. Frank Baum, the author of the Wizard of Oz advocated for the complete
        genocide of the nations cloaked as actually being in our best interests
        as our savagery was such we would never fit in the fabric of this nation.
        Henry Ford was a hands down racist who began his own newspaper as a vehicle
        to promote his beliefs.
        When it comes to history I always recommend two books: An Indigenous People’s
        History of the United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz and a People’s History of
        the United States by Howard Zinn.
        I do so in the hope that people will come to grips with the reality and having
        done so make the effort to hold government to the strictest accountability as the
        “public servants” they profess to be rather than corporate minions and because I
        our story to be told.

      • That’s what I meant – where there is just ONE chief vs elders (usually) who excell at for example storytelling history (best memory & oldest) & another for horses or tracking or finding water etc. vs. a political ruler in a European sense. That’s how it was for us (sheiks… now I wonder if the word is related). We had sheiks but not these rulers that represented everyone. Like the Saudi ‘King’ & ‘King’ of Jordan.

        Yes that time period of Lincoln’s presidency was horrible for you. People treat them like they are separate worlds: the Civil War & the then termed ‘Indian wars’.

        I loathe when a genocide against people is called ‘war’. It’s like the ‘war’ against Gaza. Not a ‘war’ when against unarmed blockaded civilians & half of those killed are children.

        This reminds me when I was a child I was walking around an old house set to be torn down & I found a very old copy of Harpers w/ articles & etchings depicting the *recent* ‘Indian wars’. Of course I want to donate it. We have two museums here run by Native tribes (Pequot in Ledyard & Mohegan in Uncasville). And then there is the Smithsonian one in NYC. What are your thoughts?

        I knew quite recently of the L.Frank Baum genocidal writings. To bring it round to the ‘New Age’ thing. I feel like when the imagined threat of an indigenous people are finally felt to be ‘contained’. Quite literally w/ NAs & now Gazans & Palestinians (the camps AND behind the Apartheid Wall now) that is when the oppressors & their children feel guilty & get sentimental.

        The Howard Zinn book I got from the library but had to return it before reading it. It was a bit difficult to read for some reason. (I don’t have trouble reading complex material – so that wasn’t it).

        I’ve bookmarked the other book. Thanks.

        What is your feeling about ‘Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee’?

        I read that. The trouble I had w/ it was he wrote as if all the Native people here in New England & New York had been killed in the 17th c. They would be surprised to hear that here! I think Russell Means was saying that also in a two part video on Youtube. I think when people see black or even blond Natives in New England they percieve them to be of European heritage or African American. But tribes were decimated here so they used to kidnap settlers and adopt them. Plus Natives here were taken & enslaved & married other enslaved peoples. I’m sure you know all that but what is your view? About full-blood vs. what has occurred to a far greater extent here. This was a big problem for the Pequot Nation here initially.

      • I think Bury My Heart is a worthy read and as a companion to that upon finishing
        I would recommend the Hank Adams Reader.
        As to blood quantum it has evolved in large part to due to the Dawes Role, there
        are nations restricting enrollment and residency based on blood quantum,
        personally I think they see that as something of a survival mechanism, a bulwark
        against assimilation and cultural degradation.
        I favor banning for gang bangers, rapists, murderers, and drug dealers, what I
        find interesting is the sudden defense of and adoption of the very “colonial law”
        so often railed against by those who would qualify for banning in saying they have
        “constitutional rights” that prohibit such a thing cigar store ndns and wanabe warriors
        trying ot have it both ways.
        Russell Means in his made for public consumption videos was quick to rail against
        White Clay, and yet did his very best to obtain a liquor license on PR assuring one
        and all the money would go to treatment – to which I said BS, the money would go
        into his pocket just as the “settlement” he reached with the Cleveland Indians did,
        the money from the BIA occupation, the money from Yellow Thunder camp, and every
        other scam he ran.
        The narrative of growing pot on the rez led to a new round of those claiming
        ancestry, the reasons being obvious, but in this lays the possibility that
        some will be denied who shouldn’t be due to the choices made by ancestors
        who felt it better for themselves their children to deny who they were in a
        racist society and so no records exist.
        We are who we are based on ancestry, we shouldn’t deny, inflate, or lie about
        it – in doing so we deny our entire ancestry and our families as though we embrace
        a shame about it.
        A different story in past times when it very well could have been a matter of
        survival in this hemisphere or elsewhere – I can’t begin to count the number of
        people I’ve encountered who all claimed to have that “cherokee princess” in their
        background – if true then I can only assume the Cherokee must have been the most
        prolific people in the history of the world.
        I think native museums have a value, something whose time has come, just as indigenous
        schools and colleges like Dull Knife in Lame Deer – if we don’t teach our history,
        our languages, in a culturally friendly environment we run the risk of the nations
        children becoming bricks in the wall.
        We can teach these things along with courses that can afford opportunity and careers.
        If you’re asking me if I think you should donate this early Harpers my response
        would be yes as an act of preservation and for it’s potential educational value, but
        the choice is your’s and I am merely expressing an opinion.

        Once a people are confined to gulags here or anywhere else it becomes a game changer,
        every aspect of their life is under assault, children grow up traumatized, even doubting
        their own value, adults are broken and may become resigned – it is a crafted mechanism.

      • I was definitely wanting to donate the paper. I was wondering to which museum. Or to the tribe mentioned. I forgot which tribe – as I try not to touch it in order to preserve it. A plains tribe of course. The Smithsonian Native American museum in NYC would most likely have the best conditions (climate & temp & humidity & fire etc.) but you wrote earlier of the nightmare of *vanishing* w/ only exhibits left in that museum. The rest of it is really amazing also! Inc. the book reviews of authors *new* books which we still know now.

        Re. 1984. Someone pointed out that the changes of who is at war w/ who & then the propaganda erasing it from people’s minds is like how we supported the Taliban in the 80s against the Russians & then that reversed. Any quote from that book is especially relevant now.

        What’s happening now in Myanmar is horrific. Ethnic cleansing. Including people watching their infants thrown into rivers. It’s making me feel ill. Listening to BBC now about it. That’s why I’m awake. Beside the fact that apparently I am now editing my entire collection of poems. Which I may blame you for as initially I just wanted one poem you reminded me of re. *disappearing*

      • Government seem to forget no one has ever won in Afghanistan – not
        the Russians, not Alexander, and not the U.S..
        With the array of technology and weapons at the governments disposal
        and the lunacy of Trump that could change – this is a “man” who asked
        if you have nuclear weapons why can’t you use them?
        As to blaming me you’ll have to get inline and wait your turn.
        I understand there is a remake of 1984 in works might be interesting
        depending on cast and direction.

      • Clarification:

        I meant to finish writing that since they saw anyone who was not an English or French (etc.) ‘gentleman’ (someone in European dress etc.) as a ‘beggar’ or ‘peasant’ – that is why they assigned ‘King’ status to certain tribal elders. That way when the newspapers back in London & Paris & New York etc. reported on their activity they would be seen to be ‘negotiating’ w/ other titled people.

        And I read once that this was true regarding Natives here as well. Only w/ the word ‘chief’ vs ‘king’.

        Lol. I got so angry before I lost the thread.

        Btw – I was referring only to my technical expertise before & not the contact of what I write. But thanks for your kind thoughts on my writing. Others think I am evidence of the ‘angry Arab’. Lol. Sometimes people say that to silence me/us. Really? Try again! It’s a compliment. It used to be an insult & then people my age gave it a good polish.

      • Re. holding some of your work back. That’s good. Degas had so much he never showed. (Mostly because it was so shocking at that time! His friends – the other impressionists you know of – thought he had lost his mind when he showed it to them in his studio!). I believe in power behind hidden things. Names etc. People often use things against people.That happened to me recently describing civil rights discrimination my father suffered. I was told I must be lying since he is not African American. Then someone cut & pasted & reconstructed something I wrote about someone else & lied saying I’d written it about my father.They tried to say he was ‘white’. It was evil & bizarre gaslighting. I think people are realising that again… after years of all this revealing of everything to everyone. It is out of control. Some things need protecting. That can be true of art also. You’ve already shown it to the spirit world/God/saints/angels/stars/wind etc. It’s not even unseen when it’s said to be unseen.

      • I had a photo I had taken appear on ebay and another in one of the Slavic
        countries as part of an advertisement – so it became something of maybe
        I did fall off the turnip truck but twice burnt three times shy.
        Additionally there are a couple of indigenous sites supportive of AIM
        that are bling laden and post a lot of photos of indigenous people that
        I don’t want any photo I’ve taken showing up on.
        I never took them with the idea in mind to profit or display, it has
        been about creating something of an historical archive.
        I’ve been routinely encouraged to publish them in book form and thought
        about it, if that were to become the way of any and all profit would
        go to indigenous causes and issues.
        If not then as you say they have been seen.
        An attorney friend whose office I have worked on has admonished me to
        place a copyright on photos I post and I’ve begun to do that with the
        codicil that any who see one they would have to email me and I’ll send
        them a large digital copy they can print or whatever with the understanding
        they cannot make an effort to commercialize or post.
        I like the impressionist artists but didn’t know that about Degas.
        Lies unfortunately have a greater traction than the truth – I’m not sure
        what that speaks to but it isn’t anything good.
        AIM trolls have attempted to portray what I say in a different light
        but a little chapter and versing along with deconstructing their
        interpretation has led to silence – such things shouldn’t be but they
        are and surely a sign of the times when individuals like Rush Limbaugh
        and Alex Jones can amass a following.
        This need to reveal and the accompanying voyeurism as there is no better
        word you speak of has kept me from “social media” sites like fb etal though
        such sites can serve a purpose if you’re willing to put up with the negatives.

      • I’m still answering this one comment email from you – but in pieces because it’s such a pain typing on my ancient microscopic iPhone 4!

        I hear you loudly re. apropriation (sp?). At least w/ your people they give a nod in your direction at the origin. With us every single Arab thing becomes:

        Middle Eastern

        Lol – NOTHING is ever Arab. I want to rip every ‘Middle Eastern Restaurant’ sign down & give them one that says ‘Arab Restaurant’. A really beautiful one for free. The internalising people do. They buy the language of the oppressor. We’re erased at every turn. No census box. Palestine called ‘A land without a people for a people without a land’ (!!!!!!!!). Arab Americans think – or rather know – that if they write ‘Arab’ on the sign a) nobody will come b) they may be shot to death by crazed lunatics.

        Israelis have apropriated everything from us. It’s like that old black & white film ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’. And it’s not just Israelis. The original early Syrian Church was apropriated by Greeks & Romans & then the whole world. Now there is the White Christ w/ the original Oriental nonviolent religion completely ruined & subverted. The Syrian Orthodox Archdiocese here sent a group of priests to meet w/ Assad (a war criminal) & the Grand Mufti (in charge of the thousands of murders Amnesty International discovered in the prison). They have an article on their website saying what a gentleman he is. He’s a war criminal! He attacked his own people w/ chemical weapons. I went to the Syrian Church here & they were praying for the victory of Assad. I had a row w/ the priest over it. It’s madness! And the Latin rite Catholic Church just elevated a priest who tortured & imprisoned California Natives to sainthood. (Despite all our protests & petitions).

        Native Americans have dealt w/ this so much better than Palestinians. In many regards. This is too complicated to address here. I will only say I hope the BDS movement works as in South Africa. Sorry to go on so long about our horror!

        I think it’s appalling what you have to deal w/ from all the “new age” people as you call them. (I’m thinking of other words). You’re right! Why don’t they have their OWN spring to draw from. Their own well. Rather than polluting another’s w/ FALSENESS. I don’t get it. Even Native Americans stolen from their parents & robbed of everything are able to find their way HOME again.

        Honestly there is something creepy & souless about it. Europe has fascinating profound ancient folk cultures (Celtic/Nordic/Eurasian etc.). Why would you loathe your own ancestors? It’s evil.

        Also I don’t understand the Yoga apropriation of Hinduism. Yoga is not ancient. It is a relatively recent practise invented as an exercise regime wrapped in layers of lies about its origins.

      • I’ve known a few people from other countries and found
        that there exists shared common values, divisions occur
        in large part due to nationalism and what people are
        fed by their governments.
        Real differences may exist, but many could be resolved
        if governments stepped out of the way and did away with
        propaganda and fear mongering.
        It has become something of a convenience to lump all together,
        to brand an ethnicity on the basis of a few, the color of
        their skin, the language they use, or a refusal to kow tow.
        That is the way of Imperialism and religious zealotry, and
        I have little hope that it will ever change.
        Among my favorite books is George Orwell’s 1984 – I think of
        it in terms of being prophetic – the state is everything,
        thought control and manufactured enemies as though selected
        by lottery or the spinning of a wheel.
        What’s next – Soylent Green?
        Life has been devalued in the pursuit of resources and ideology,
        endless drone strikes and a mounting body count of non combatants
        acceptable collateral damage.
        Yet some things are worth fighting for, the value determined by
        cause, motivation, and the level of injustice.
        If for instance there had been no one to fight Nazism the possibility
        that the Jews would have been exterminated is difficult to deny.
        Had we not fought it is possible we too would have been exterminated
        or so thoroughly assimilated all our languages and understanding of
        who we are would have been lost.
        As the effects of climate change increase resource wars on a scale
        never before conducted seem to be inevitable and nationalism will
        reign supreme.
        The haves will always have, the have nots will have even less and
        seen as expendable burdens.
        A few years ago I saw a Chinese fast food to go restaurant, a small
        family owned business they had named “chinky doodle” – I was so
        saddened and angered by this I approached the cashier at the window
        and asked if they had no pride?
        The response was yes, but this was business and that somehow in their
        mind that translated to a strategy that would draw customers – maybe it
        did and maybe it didn’t but ethnic and family pride does not come
        with a price tag affixed to it in my book.
        To say that Assad is a gentleman has the equivalency of saying Trump
        is fit for office or the invasion of Iraq based on the deception of
        possessing WMDs was legitimate.

      • I’m laughing because of how late artists stay up. Even if it is earlier there. (Did I say four hours later before re. time stamp?). Honestly I think we all (night people) share some genetic trait in that regard. Some researchers found out that being a night person was hereditory & surmised it had something to do w/ someone always needing to stay awake to watch the animals etc.

        1984. LOVE this book. Reading it now AGAIN. On my honour – I was going to ask you if you read 1984 & began to write something in response to your FB comment about how FB makes me feel I may end up like Winston betrayed in the old decrepid part of town (not unlike where I live now Lol) if I caved & went on it. But then I deleted that in the interest of both brevity & not driving you & anyone else reading mad w/ how much I’ve written. There is also Animal Farm. And A Clockwork Orange.

        Fighting Hitler. My grandmother’s sister was murdered in the T4 program (‘Euthanasia’ murder). Her brother-in-law who was Jewish also may have been murdered – but anyway lost all his civil rights before he passed. My grandfather was a pacifist who threw away the medal he won for being wounded in WWI. Because he hated war so much. Listening to BBC (etc. allied radio) was punishable by death. They could not trust neighbours because anyone could turn you in. So they put the radio in the middle of the kitchen floor turned down very low so the neighbours wouldn’t hear & lay on the floor to be able to hear the BBC reports of how near the planes were which would liberate them.

        The trouble was the planes destroyed the whole city – targeting civilians. The British at night & the Americans by day. I am still searching for my grandmother’s sister.

        That story about the Chinese restaurant is shocking! Lol that would never fly here in the NYC & New Haven etc. area! I’m always amazed how different this country is from place to place. Great that you said something. You sound like me. I broke up an attack on a subway once. A gang of kids was starting to beat an innocent young man who was minding his own business. But he was too proud to run.

        Whilst looking through those few poems for you before I got absorbed in reading all of them. Here is one written during the 2006 Israeli bombing of Lebanon. Except I didn’t really write it as I literally dreamt it. And got up very quickly to write it down:

        Your troubles taken upon death
        Did you thank them
        whilst concrete crushed you
        Chosen people
        There is only this way
        I am like a sparrow caught in an olive press
        Deliver your god message
        You are a bomb
        I understand now
        You are a bullet reflected
        in an infant’s eye


        Here’s another – since you wrote of the bombing of Germany. It is not just Hitler who was bombed but rather civilians. Though I understand what you meant. The PTSD affects also the second generation. When your mother is a bombing victim who watched her grandfather’s elderly friend sucked into the backdraft of a burning building because he walked w/ a cane whilst running w/ him to a shelter. And your mother had to walk in the middle of the street whilst all the buildings burned on either side & it was so hot her hair burnt off her head & her shoes burnt off her feet. And she dug dead bodies out of buildings. And she was deliberately strafed by a flier whilst she ran across a field w/ a young boy.


        Let us fly to that scythe shaped crack in the sky
        to tear it open like paper
        Or like children caught in tightened sheets
        at the wrong end of the bed
        punch through to breath
        The stars must really be pinholes for that
        to help us
        But they didn’t prick enough of them
        and they are covered in smoke now
        On the other side we will breathe only breathe only breathe
        through the smoke through the bombs
        through the horrors
        breath only breath

        They survived and when older told us


        “The bombs the bombs
        the terrible sound of the bombs”

        over and over
        bodies in the rubble
        an elderly friend alight
        girls of seven in a pile on a Berlin corner

        And in the morning when we children woke early
        and came upon them staring
        hollow eyed
        we knew that they knew
        terrible things
        and took it along with the pink candy wool
        and the rest of childhood
        At the table staring
        thousand yard stare…

      • Had to drop the mic last night as I roll out every morning about daybreak
        and needed to pick up some materials for a job.
        The latest re FB is that they took money from Russian trolls and refusing
        to give up the related data – which will probably be the end of it as
        undoubtedly by governmental definition fb is ” too big to fail” and fb
        seems to have that Leona Helmsley mindset of what applies to the “little
        people” doesn’t apply to them.
        What occurred during WW2 has left a lasting stain on humanity, to Germany’s
        credit that they’ve taken a pro active approach to all things Nazi – I read
        recently that a drunken tourist gave the Nazi salute and they busted him.
        PTSD i.e. trauma, has been said to have become genetically encoded among
        the nations, if so that could explain the high incidence of suicide among
        our youth and could be a contributing factor for the growing incidence
        of alcoholism.
        During wartime civilian populations are destined to suffer but it is the
        children who suffer the most and as children have a limited ability to cope
        with it – like the group Talking Heads sings in Life During Wartime – “this
        ain’t no party,this ain’t no disco, this ain’t no fooling around”, it is
        misery, suffering and a form of government sponsored cannibalism.
        I’ll be dropping the mic again throughout the day but will catch up with
        comments, and thanks once again the poems.

      • You’re welcome for the poems. You put me to work on the whole collection when I got them out to post only those relevant to your comments. Still hard at work at that now. Editing & copying over some of the messier ones.

        Re. the high rates of suicide. (Palestinians have this also. We even see the suicide bombings as young men wanting to kill themselves out of despair also. But in a proud honour culture they don’t want to admit despair). I want to send you something later (perhaps on your about page if you are using it like an open thread) about your people (from a northern hunting tribe vs southern agrarian right?) & my people having trouble w/ a modern mostly carbohydrate diet. For thousands of years we ate meat & other animal products & berries & a tiny amount of wild grains & greens. We actually cannot process all that sugar (the carbs turn to sugar). We literally do not have the enzymes necessary to process this food. That is why diabetes is so high among so many populations that did not eat many carbs prior to colonisation & modern foods. One thing that can result is terrible fatigue & depression. And of course depression can lead to suicide. I am not saying that is the only cause. I am only speaking from my own experience. I wrote earlier of how eating so many grains & corn (carbohydrates) nearly killed me. We were raised on almost all meat and/or fish & in my case fermented milk w/ some fruit & some plant for thousands of years. Unless one comes from an agrarian people (pre-Columbian descendants/Italian/French/Spanish/Balkans/British Isles) it is deathly to eat bread & pasta & corn foods & sugar etc.

        I can send you something else about this later if you want. The Inuit & other Arctic peoples are really figuring this out w/ programs to return to traditional foods. I have a book from the early 1830s (?) by a Connecticut minister who stayed w/ Plains tribes & describes the food in detail. I will give that away also later. God willing. I’m sure you would find it really interesting. It’s original. Not a reprint. I get really attached to certain objects. Another downside of being raised animist LOL. We’ll see how soon I can part w/ it. My mother must have found it at a flea market years ago. I just realised it is probably on archive.org & other free library archive sites since it’s so old – so you can read it there. I’ll search for that & send the link later. xxx

      • The interesting thing about Arctic people is the traditional diet
        and the almost total lack of heart disease etc – that’s changing
        now as they become “civilized”.
        There is a high incidence of heart disease, diabetes, and high blood
        pressure among indigenous people of this country and Canada directly
        associated with dramatic changes in diet.
        Birth defects are not all that uncommon and I attribute that to
        toxins in the water and land, diet, and though many would rather not
        talk about it or in denial drug and alcohol abuse as well.
        Appreciate links and if you feel free to send what you will – if you
        don’t want it made public say so and it won’t be.

      • The only thing that I was referring to about not wanting the whole planet to read so probably won’t go into more detail about is that *ring* from my grandmother taken by the water. It was/is an astonishing & sacred experience the way it unfolded. (Re. fish story your latest post).

        But thanks for your offer/graciousness to delete those sort of things. I may send some other links I found for you on toxic stress children experience & that affecting their development. I don’t know how long you want this thread to run so if you want me to post those in your about page (like an open thread) I will. Just tell me where you want those. It’s such an important topic. I love children.

        The thing I wrote about that I knew from experience was not about “suicide” that you wrote of re. your people & I responded to (as I joke that I am *too* strong – I can take a lot). I was referring to us (Arabs & indigenous Americans & some Nordic people) not being able to process sugars. Basically I can only eat meat & animal fats & fermented milk & cheese & small amounts of fruit etc. We literally do not have the enzymes that break down grains etc. But you don’t have to delete that because really people need to start learning this. I don’t know if that’s what you were referring to re. deleting things (?). I won’t post anything here without realising the planet can read it. (And be put to sleep by my words). As an Arab I always write as if elderly & baby people are hearing me also.

        No need to apologise for not throwing the ball back straight away! Especially after yesterday’s storm of comments. You’re exhausting me as it is! Still trying to keep up w/ you! Including looking up what an ‘apple’ is (that I think someone used in that 2012 AIM thread). Very cute slang – except I always think of green apples… or here they are multicoloured… And I *knew* that Saturday you were spending w/ friends & family. I have that thing that scares basically all Americans except indigenous ones – where I just *know* things. Lol. You don’t have to delete that one 😉

      • I’ve yet to a delete a comment made by anyone and wouldn’t unless they
        asked me to – what I have told people in the past is they if offer a comment
        and ask that it not be posted that’s the way it will be.
        Sometimes people send me an email address they don’t want to broadcast
        or something of a personal nature and they are kept private.
        Apple comes with two connotations, one being red on the outside and white
        on the inside, the other a reverse apple, white on the outside and red
        on the inside – I’m not sure of their origin or that of calling someone
        Twinkie with translates to being “brown” outside and white inside.
        I don’t believe I have ever used either term.
        Inspite of labeling on food products which Republicans are rolling back
        I don’t believe it’s possible to be a hundred percent certain about
        anything that comes of a grocery store.
        A pet peeve of mine is how those “natural” food stores go on and on
        about eating healthy and then price those who need to the most out of
        the market.
        I know people who shop at such stores, spend a hundred bucks or more
        and come out with one bag – that’s criminal to my way of thinking.
        You can post wherever you like, here, in blogs that appear if you think
        something relevant, or the about.
        Food has taken on something of a reward connotation, and most of
        the “rewards” are either bad for you, loaded with sugar and calories
        or both – I enjoy variety and a good meal but at the core tend to
        think of food as fuel.
        I understand about the inability for certain demographics to process
        various foods – in this country it’s all about purifying and sanitizing
        everything, and while cleanliness is a good thing people traveling to
        another country often can’t handle the water or food for the simple
        reason they’ve destroyed beneficial bacteria and enzymes in their
        their digestive system.
        You can post wherever you like, here, in blogs that appear if you think
        something relevant, or the about.

      • In paragraph 5 in article I just sent you a link to (‘Descendants… Altered Stress Hormones’) “insulin resistance” is mentioned. That is astonishing re. the astronomical diabetes rates. Because so far (prior to this) people were blaming diet. Also mentioned is “hypertension”.

      • On the subject of some of us peering over the hill to the *other* world too soon because we’ve tried to live on things like pasta & bread; there is also the very serious problem of vit d deficiency. I don’t know how dark your skin is & that of your family; but I was really deficient in vitamin d because of my skin colour & living in the north but not being outside enough. If Native people have my colour skin but kids are now in school all day – that’s a problem also. They now know you need far more sun to get enough d. Everyone who’s not pale should have their d levels tested & take 5000 d3 a day if their levels are under. Because our skin is darker we need to be in the sun far longer to get d (or for our bodies to make it – whatever is happening there). I think the Inuit get it in the liver they eat. (Since they wear more clothing). This is just another problem w/ people giving up certain foods that their people have been eating for thousands of years. Also we were joking about how we eat raw meat but maybe it is healthier in some way.

      • We are very much an outdoor people and considering the garden,
        what is gathered in the surrounding area that includes nuts and
        berries along with what else we eat our diet is well rounded
        so we haven’t any concerns about vitamin deficiencies.
        I would describe us as being omnivorous, no alcohol, no tobacco
        as in cigarettes, and for sure no drugs.
        As to skin coloration there is no mistaking who we are.

      • A thousand times this – what you said of no elders wanting that *role*. That’s because most people who are soulful & wise spend a lot of time trying to get away from people. Like the first century Jewish rabbi Jesus who is described having gone alone into the mountains & fasted for three days till he saw the devil. In other words: a vision quest. (& also on several other occasions. Like when he took a nap & had to wake up to save his mates from the storm. Lol. Basically he told them he wished they had more trust in nature/God/providence & not to freak out so much over a storm or even possible death… since there is no such thing). I keep meeting the most blatantly narcissistic priests & pastors & rabbis. It’s like a tell. If someone wants attention in that manner.

        ‘Christianity is a great concept; too bad it hasn’t been tried’ (paraphrase of Gandhi).

        Her rape & murder & so many people’s roles in that – inc. women – & then an army of people glossing that over makes me really angry.

        This is why pride is called the mother of all sins. It makes people fight for things until they lose the thread of what they are fighting for.

        This is your battle so I am not passing judgement from outside – but it makes me really sad given what is going on w/ my own people. The greatest refugee crisis since WWII & then crazy brothers running over innocent people w/ trucks in Europe & slitting the throats of an elderly priest etc. It’s like a nightmare we can’t wake ourselves from.

      • Gandhi said pretty much the same when asked what he thought of
        western civilization.
        Some people believe ETs will miraculously step in at the last
        minute and save us from ourselves, might be nice if they did
        but I don’t believe it.
        In the end though I’m not going to be engulfed by this tsunami,
        be fearful, or spend my every waking moment focusing on such
        things, if nothing else as an act of defiance I’m going to live
        my life in as enjoyable and productive a manner as possible.
        I’m going to stop and smell the roses, enjoy the pleasure and
        comfort of friends and family, pursue what is beneficial, confront
        wrong, and advocate for as Whitman said:
        “Let that which stood in front go behind, let that which was behind
        advance to the front, let bigots, fools, unclean persons, offer new
        propositions, let the old propositions be postponed.”

      • PS re. “fighting Naziism”

        Also my grandfather was taken to slave labour in Russia. Off the streets of Berlin as a civilian in his late 50s. Russia being one of the allies of course. There were also the tens of thousands of rapes including of girls as young as seven. (See the line in my poem just sent). Which the Americans have since said they knew about but had other things to worry about. (On record).

        Many British military experts & some Americans have admitted that the deliberate bombing of German civilians inc. by carpet bombing & firebombing was a heinous war crime & would be considered one today.

      • Saturdays are pretty much family and friends days so I’ll begin with your oldest
        comment and work my way up – I’ve read that following Germanys surrender Patton
        wanted to invade Russia, I’ve also read the Allied Forces were well aware of
        the concentration camps but made them something of a low priority.
        I knew a person now deceased who as a child was in one of the concentration
        camps toward the end of the war, they were Roma – I also knew and elderly
        Japanese couple who had been in one of the internment camps and man who had
        been a freedom fighter against the Russians in the 50’s, all had horrific
        stories to tell, and all had been deeply scarred.

      • Good morning (or whenever you read this). I’m just going through yesterday’s email & read your response to my description of the (US) Antiochian Orthodox delegation of priests to Assad.

        I left out telling you that they wrote that they had a ‘minder’ who took them everywhere & that they were never allowed to see anything by themselves. And yet they still chose to describe him as a “gentleman”.

        Btw though the Antiochian Orthodox Church used to be called the Syrian Orthodox Church; there is also another Syrian Orthodox Church which is now called the Syriac Orthodox Church. They are ancient but the names in English were changed by them (more recently). I’m writing this because I don’t want anyone reading this to think that the Syriac (Syrian) Orthodox Church was the one who sent this delegation (or any other Orthodox Church). Not that anyone is coming to your blog for this – ! – but I don’t want to malign people that were/are not involved w/ that.

      • I hear you re. your origin coming from HERE. *round of applause*

        Neither the Bering Strait hypothesis or newer ships hypothesis (key word) are absolutes. They are still saying the walking hypothesis when I thought it was supposed to be abandoned by the ships one. It’s confusing. Lol.

        Then there are physicists saying that we construct reality as we go. Like Buddhists believe. And like anyone who has ever done a hallucinagen (or two) knows to be true.

        We know so very little about any of this *miraculous* intense journey we are on. Yet some lab coated people w/ clipboards (who wear jeans now & carry smartphones instead but the early 1950s version is funnier) want us to sign on to these fascistic concepts of the entire universe seen & unseen.

        I believe in science. (Arabs Christian & Muslim & Jewish have never seen a contradiction there. Thus no Dark Ages). But it is only ONE way to gain knowledge & understanding.

        I believe in global warming because when I was a child in the 70s we still had ground ice. (Do you have that term? = When ice freezes all the way down to the ground at the bottom of a river). And now our rivers don’t even get black ice (super thin ice).

      • Glaciers are receding at an alarming rate in proximity to where
        I live, I see this on a yearly basis and conclude it is a fools
        errand to deny what is clearly visible.
        The changes even more remarkable from the time of my childhood
        to now.
        Some say a judgement is coming, maybe so maybe not, but I
        believe we are on the cusp of a new dark age, one accelerated
        by a completely indifferent and dysfunctional Republican
        control Senate, House, a presidency who never saw a lie
        they would not embrace, and a prevailing ignorance among
        segments of voters.

      • “Smithsonian” O_O Wow. I thought I was the only one that felt that way. I guess we are all too freaked out to voice it to each other. Like the Mandan tribe (beautiful NA tribe now gone). I’ve written so many poems about this. I’m obsessed w/ words & I write them down or bookmark them when I find them. I found this one the other day: ‘cenotaph’ – monument to a person buried elsewhere. I made a note to possibly use it for my poetry collection.

        I have so many of these but here are a few:

        Thorns in Winter:

        I fear that someday
        only our bones will remain there
        like thorns in winter
        guarding the soil with tired fingers


        I am blackness
        blackness scented of zaatar
        my skin is no more
        I am a splintered bone in the street
        I am a tiny spoonful for a bulldozer
        I am thrashed against sorrow
        & so sorrow is sick of me
        I am a child for each cluster bomb
        my skin is lace
        I am dead dead dead
        I am alive
        & yet the world does not see me
        I am the gazelle in the hunters sight
        Stay still
        Which shall I
        Either is my fault


        ‘Away from his house go the skillful ones –
        the daughters of joyful noise…’

        – Phoenician (Ugarit) tale of Aqat

        Done you walk
        Rising Early
        A man without borders
        For nowhere
        No one

        Ruins in Lebanon remember our pale days
        When mirrors of our cells walked together
        Jew & Canaanite
        Married to our first mornings
        At the soft stem of time
        Then we came here
        Past the music of history
        To not know each other
        Ungrateful children
        To not know each other in a terrible quiet
        That left us

        Painted eyes murex coloured girl
        Raked clean
        Like Jericho smashed
        You tried to build your stiff afterworld
        On my crushed heart
        And you forgot the morning
        I took you in
        Like a swallow come home

  5. What was your impression of Woodstock? (I was there more than once between 76 & 82 because my brother & other musicians I knew played there). My feeling was it’s like if Disneyworld had a fake anachronistic ‘Hippy Town’ where they got everything wrong. Then again I am virulently anti-hippy! When I was there I felt like I had to hide behind a building to drink a Coke or be chased by an angry mob. It was 1978 & Bowie was in his Berlin/Eno period & yet people were wearing tie dye & talking about the 60s. Inc. the AIM members who had just come off The Longest Walk. I was more than ten years younger & used to tease them by *pretending* they meant the 1860s! & nobody even laughed – those AIM members were so wedded to that hippy thing from their youth. Aside from that they all still ate cheeseburgers & fries & Wonder bread w/ grape jelly – vs. vegetarian food.

    I couldn’t wait to leave. I felt sorry for the elderly farmers & loggers etc. from old families there.

    And then – shockingly! – Bowie moved very nearby. (In the 2000s).

    Did you participate in that long canoe trip & horse ride down the Hudson to NYC a few years ago? (I forget what it was called). That must have been a blast for everyone & so incredibly beautiful…

    • PS / Correction:

      I was about twenty years younger than members of AIM then (born 18 years after Leonard Crow Dog) I just realised! Not ‘over ten years younger’ as I wrote. (Obviously when in other comments I said I was a baby in the early 60s). So they were old enough to be my parents really.

      Also I want to make clear I’m not judging anyone. It’s really not at all my place. I respect those people for their taking a stand & bringing attention to Native lives & rights. They impacted education from then on & film – everything. Sacred re-burials of remains of people’s ancestors from museums… so many things came about because of those elders. I hope I didn’t give another impression. I was only puzzled by the scene on that Green day after day most of that summer.

      • I’m inclined to believe that there is a nuanced difference in being
        judgmental and speaking to facts – if an offense repeatedly takes
        place it is more than an opinion to say this person is wrong or
        this person does wrong, it is a statement of fact – without expressing such an opinion based on provable facts the silence becomes consent.
        We are all judged in some way or another, it may be work related as
        to quality and effort or any number of things – the difference lies
        in acknowledging that we ourselves are not perfect, have our own
        foibles and areas to improve in.
        AIM wantonly murdered people, stole untold amounts of money that
        could have benefited “their” people and attempted to rule by
        force and intimidation – if saying they committed or participated in
        such things is judgmental I haven’t a single issue with that as it
        is entirely different that being critical for the sake of criticism.
        A people’s movement which AIM attempted to portray themselves as
        does not rule by force and murder, and the leadership does not
        make arbitrary decisions, they present choices, options, and ask
        for input – AIM has never done that.
        I’ve been called a fed and sell out by AIM and the Peltierites
        because I have spoken what is provable, on the other hand they
        have resorted to criticism and judgements as a defense mechanism
        as they can offer no proof.
        I’m fine with that, it has been and will remain an expectation
        but it doesn’t alter an iota of the truth, and it is the truth,
        a “judgement” based on facts that has brought a measure of closure
        to the survivors of victims like Annie Mae Pictou Aquash and Williams
        and Coler.
        I understand what you’re saying and acknowledge that we should not
        go around enveloped in negativity spewing criticism based entirely
        on what we like or don’t like, who we like or don’t like but I also
        believe we are obliged to take note of and point out wrongs that
        exist – to make an assessment or “judgement”.
        So I say the AIM leadership are liars, thieves, and murderers, that
        Peltier is a liar and murderer and have no qualms in saying so.
        Had AIM of been a true people’s movement, had the leadership placed
        the welfare of others above their own I would have some respect, but
        they didn’t and I don’t.

      • I knew you were going to say this after my last comment re. AIM. Because after I hit send I thought – he is going to think you’re referring to what he said & being critical of him. But as I already left several dissertations I thought – I’ll wait till he says what he should say to that. I was going to write a PS saying ‘That does not apply to you as a Native man. You have every right to say whatever you want!’

        What I meant is I don’t know enough about it. I’m not native. You are – so fire away. I understand you. We have the same things w/ various Palestinians & various Lebanese. Where it’s like – Hang on… Who’s the enemy here?! The Sabra & Shatila massacre of Palestinian refugees in Lebanon by Maronite Catholic phalangists being the most horrifying example. But I don’t like it when people who don’t know us start criticising. We say ‘My brother & I against my cousin – my cousin & I against the enemy.’ If that makes sense.

        Basically I meant it is your fight against AIM. I understand you so far & hear what you’re saying. The anger against them which you have a right to.

      • I took no offense nor assumed anything, and in fact understood your
        intent – a further reality of life is none will journey through
        it without battles to engage in on multiple levels.
        Character I believe is defined based upon what we resist, the battles
        we engage in, whether frivolously judgmental and critical or valid.
        Whether we afford the opportunity for others to mount a defense or
        not and if shown to be wrong be willing to admit it.
        I’ve attempted to do that on the blog, called upon AIM etal to
        step up and comment showing the error of my ways if they exist.
        None of have save for a lone individual or two who would never
        give a direct answer to a direct question and were known to be
        AIM trolls.
        At times those exchanges became a little heated but I offer no
        apologies and say if we are to discuss an issue better if we
        do so factually and with reason, if you approach me in such a
        spirit I will reciprocate, but if you attack me, friends, or my
        own I will respond in like manner.

    • I’m not really sure what I expected of Woodstock after having seen videos
      of the event itself that featured artists like Richie Havens singing
      Freedom that resonated to my very core.
      I think my expectation was that it would be larger than life when in
      reality it’s little more than a tourist attraction.
      It’s kind of like Mt. Rushmore in a way, the perception is it is huge
      when viewed in photos but it actually isn’t – the Crazy Horse monument
      will be huge if it is ever finished which I don’t believe it will be,
      sixty years down the road and only the face is done, big tourist attraction
      I wasn’t a participant.

      • Go get a beer or something because Richie Haven comment about to drop for you.

        But firstly “tourist attraction” This a thousand times. So funny… When Bowie moved there he said “I’m not a Woodstock person…” but that he went up there & fell in love w/ the mountains & land. No you’re not… we’re not even sure if the word “person” applies to you… vs ‘space alien’…

        Richie was a very old & close friend of the Apache musician I wrote of earlier (former boyfriend & I don’t want to write everyone’s name). Richie recorded his song (on Mixed Bag II). Something w/ ‘Indian’ in the title… I’ve forgotten. The version my x does has real Native chanting whereas Richie’s version doesn’t. So they almost sound like two different songs.

        Richie’s grandfather was Blackfoot. Did you know that? He was in Buffalo Bill’s Wild West show & when they got to NYC he left & made his way to the Shinnecock reservation on Long Island. He married there & moved to Brooklyn. Richie’s mother was British West Indian.

        So I saw him play a few times in very intimate spaces. But even better was listening to him talk. A very intelligent & loving man. I first met him at a party after his little girl’s birthday w/ my then boyfriend. I guess Richie knew Leonard Crow Dog & other members of AIM as well since my boyfriend knew them. Maybe Richie even introduced them – I don’t know. Anyway they all knew each other. My boyfriend was younger than them but older than me & not a member of AIM.

        I really miss Richie… So beautiful in every way… He passed a few years ago…

        Re. the statues. Lol! I will dance if the faces of those presidents would fall off that mountain. That was a crime committed on that mountain. I loathe it. Now that the Confederate statues are coming down… these may also someday. Anyway someday they will “crumble” to quote Chief Joseph of the Nez Pierce.

        I hope you’re not angry about the AIM comments. Email can be difficult without the facial & body language & tone of voice & the timing… Lol – if you are you will have to get in line after a bunch of other people!

      • There is a woman who has posted in the past if memory serves who is Amazigh that
        is a television producer, author, and has a site by the name of Tazzla Institute.
        She knew Havens well, traveled with him at some point, and spent some time with
        Russell Means and on PR the extent of producing a short lived television series
        Means was a “co host” of and attempted to co opt it and make it all about him.
        Consume no alcohol so I’m going to make some coffee and go with that – that’s a
        line I use at times “get in line”.
        Have some chores to do so won’t reply again to a little later.

      • I’ll ask my friend who is a peace activist & Palestinian advocate in Connecticut if he knows about her. (He is not himself Palestinian). I think he told me he interviewed Russell Means for a television show he had. It may be on his website or Youtube channel. thestruggle.org

        Enjoy your coffee & work to get done…

  6. Here’s one such example from the blog “Caitlan’s Creed” that following my response/rebuttal the author of the comment went silent and apparently wasn’t really looking for a “fight” in the light of indisputable facts.

    “You dumb arrogant shits. You stupid ass idiots that bitch just to bitch. Russell Means is quoting a man, who lived with Native Americans during the time that Native Americans had not yet been totally corrupted by white man. It doesn’t matter how many horses he had or his worth. What matters is that it broke his heart to see the Native Americans still to this day suffering. It breaks my fucking heart to see and learn the shit that my white fucking asshole relatives did to the Native Americans over and over and over.

    Ya know, now that I am a retired Marine combat vet, I need a new fight. I challenge anyone to smear another native american, for as long as your compassion is gone, you are are dead to me.”

      • I love how he’s Whitexplaining you! Lol. I have to deal w/ this all the time as an ‘Arab’ American. (Scare quotes around ‘Arab’ because we are from an indigenous minority that predated the arrival of Arabs). Only of course completely different circumstances – since this is your indigenous land I’m sitting here typing to you from. (Pequot country – two miles from the Great Swamp Massacre). How RUDE he is. Have you ever noticed that these type of people mostly curse vs. making measured intelligent arguments. He wants you dead – but he’s protecting your people. Those poor vietnamese. I hope he was behind a pot of potatoes vs. a gun.

      • While it may not always be wisdom to take people at face value I believe
        it is and was with this particular individual.
        The fact that we are indigenous people does not remove a responsibility
        to address issues within our own communities, though you would think some
        believe we are to issue blank checks and free passes.
        In the day to day within my orbit of work, lumber yards, and “outings” I
        have found some people to be somewhat unsettled if I voice an opinion beyond
        the confines of indigenous issues, it doesn’t gel with their perception that
        I should be stoic, long suffering, and capable of saying something other than
        “ugh” or “how” – and as I’ve repeatedly said I assign no generational white
        guilt, “guilt” is earned by word and deed not ethnicity.
        The gist of it is I am not willing to be a victim, lend myself to that, and
        will contest victimization and inequities as long as I draw a single breath.

      • Our emails crossed earlier. So the last was not a reply to your last. (I take a while to type on my atomised tiny phone – hence the difference in the time stamps though ‘crossed’). I hear what you’re saying.

        There’s a micro-aggression blog. People go on there to vent. A Native man’s completely deranged & filterless coworker was ranting about HIM having come to this country illegally to steal jobs from people… etc.

        I was thinking of going on there but I would be on there too often! I won’t bore you w/ the things people say to me… AND do…

        You may be “stoic” though! Probably from the icy water & the little paws at your back. Or the logs. I am. My mom would praise me for not showing pain.

        Did it occur to anyone that that cute little animal wanted to be rescued & live w/ you & those amazing sounding women of yours?

        Lumberyards. LOVE them. The scent. Perhaps you’re in the Northwest then? Or Alaska? Because I was trying to figure out the time stamp being four hours later than here in the Northeast. It puts you in the Pacific ocean – since the Northwest is three hours from here. Are you on a fishing boat or something? With a lumberyard on it?

        I’m famished from all this writing. Time to cook something. I’m going to research the things you wrote about re. AIM later. I’m assuming the ‘Free Peltier’ people anger you. For example people wanted Obama to pardon him. I wasn’t aware of all that. I knew they weren’t saints but not the rest.

        Have fun w/ your lumber in the sea.

      • I get a little confused by time stamps as they don’t seem to gel
        so basically just ignore them now – and a few hundred miles inland
        from the sea in the Northwest.
        Funny thing is there was time when I was a supporter of Peltier,
        a support I now consider to be a knee jerk us against them sort of
        But I discovered early on there were too many discrepencies
        accepted at face value rather than supporters doing the math for
        themselves – there is a coercive element in that, a form of
        thought control that if you ask difficult questions your
        Indianess is called into question and the fed sellout thing
        begins, the similarity between the Peltierites and a cult was
        unmistakable – many knew and would not be confused by facts.
        That led to me digging deeper and once having done so it
        became a no brainer to part ways.
        I knew an individual who had been part of a Peltier legal team early
        on who in private conversations said they were tasked to wade through
        a multitude of lies and they personally did not believe Peltier
        was innocent.
        What no one seems to understand or even consider is that Obama had full
        access to the very parole board and disciplinary records of Peltiers,
        access no supporter has and I’m confident would lay waste to the myth.
        All that is required for those records to be made public is for Peltier
        to sign off on a release which he will never do, and for what should be
        obvious reasons.
        Those hearings and records would have included statements Peltier
        upon his arrest and during all phases of his incarceration that
        did not make into court or public record – those that have are
        If you are as abused by prison authorities, so “wronged” and an innocent
        “political prisoner” the question can only arise of why not release the
        If all the claims are truthful doing so could only ramp up support.
        I have friends who are AIM and Peltier supporters, some who express a
        disgruntlement with the party line and know others who are anything
        but a friend – but then I never viewed life as one long running popularity
        contest, speak your piece and water will find it’s own level.

      • Correction: I wrote “Those poor Vietnamese” but I just realised he wrote only that he was a “Marine combat vet” without specifying when & where. (I was typing on a phone & can’t see everything at once & apparently have a less than stellar memory). This could mean he was attacking my mother & grandparents in WWII or more recently Arabs… since we don’t know how old he is. And I guess my hope that he was behind a pot of potatoes vs gun can be put away w/ the words “combat veteran”. What a charming gentleman.

  7. I’m reading about what you said. I’ve only just started and I see what you mean now.

    This is just very sad & depressing:


    Something makes more sense to me now. We ran into Leonard & Mary Crow Dog in a bar (in 1978 just after The Longest Walk) & my friend (the Apache musician) intoduced me & they said about three words & then Leonard was holding court on the Green as I described before (for about a month). But my friend avoided him – which I thought was a bit puzzling since they knew each other. Now it makes all the sense in the world. Because his best friends were Richie Havens & some Japanese Buddhists etc.

    There’s a lot to read about that. Thanks for leading me in that direction. Despite how angering & sad it is. It reminds me of Palestinians. And Gaza. And the IRA.

    Why do you think most of this has been kept out of various documentaries & the mainstream press.

    • “Blame” can go to the media that thrived on the cowboys and Indians
      scenario they cultivated who would have to back track and say they
      were wrong is one reason I believe.
      Celebrities were eager to play the role of friends to show how
      broadminded and compassionate they were, and as the rez has always
      been something of closed society with limited access and even less
      trust for outsiders if you couple that with AIM’s threats, murders,
      of which their were many, an outsider would have little chance of
      hearing both sides of the story and run the risk of disappearing
      if they asked the wrong questions.
      I believe somewhere along the road deals were made for resources
      and money changed hands – deals that had they or should come to light
      could be embarrassing to say the least.
      I also believe that the leadership in it’s entirety rolled over
      as and when it served them.
      AIM was a criminal operation pure and simple with the accompany
      wannabe capos, dons, and petty war lords. As such they were
      always lawyered up and adept at playing the victim role in the
      same manner Peltier has.
      Means when he did his one year for the Custer riot spent his days
      on work release at a lawyers office as an “expert” on ndn matters.
      Lawyers that had multiple AIM members and leaders under their wing.
      I believe following that year sentence is when he rolled over
      and began playing both ends against the middle, if not then then
      when it became known the kill order for Annie was taken at his
      brother Bill’s house and an assortment of his relatives were involved
      in Annie’s abduction,subsequent beating, rape, and murder.
      If correct and a “snitch” what better cover than that of a fearless
      warrior, and wouldn’t being a snitch bestow some leverage against
      his handlers- a sort of bust me and I’ll spill the whole pot of beans?
      Such groups don’t operate with any level of impunity unless deals
      have been struck – if the lid is put on it’s put on for everyone
      from those seeking FOI’s to the media, courts, and levels of law
      There isn’t a one of the leadership I haven’t called them what they
      are and will continue to do so, people have said to be careful or
      tone it down as I could be sued or worse – my response has been if
      any want to invoke “colonial law” which they rail against then bring
      it as we’ll be in a civil court where the rules are entirely different
      than those of a criminal court, and is the last place they want to
      If someone wants to bring physical trouble to me or mine all I will
      say is bad things will happen as I’m not a diminutive woman like Annie
      Mae Pictou Aquash was.
      Finally if a lie is told long enough some number of people will believe
      it, a category Trump supporters reside in.
      AIM in wanting to portray itself as a “spiritual” movement shopped around
      for a medicine man, none with integrity were interested so they wound up
      Crow Dog who never saw a ceremony he wouldn’t corrupt or sell.

      • Is this the lawyer you mean? James Abourezk. Also a senator. He is Lebanese American (Antiochian AKA: Syrian Orthodox Christian family). He began the ADC c.1980. (Arab American Anti-Discrimination Committee).


        Notice the word ‘rez’ in the spelling of his name w/ Roman letters. (Anglicised spelling). Lol…

        I fell down a rabbit hole online & someone was talking about his son’s involvement w/ AIM members & some kind of chain of people/events between that & the murders you referred to. I couldn’t understand the connection though. I needed a flow chart/organisational chart to understand who was who & when & how. Maybe you can explain his/his son’s involvement to me in baby terms I can understand. Another person thought of as a hero about to topple for me.

        I used to belong to the ADC. They had a massive internal scandal over sexual harassment. I was no longer a member by then.

      • One and the same along with son Charles – you might want to look up Bill Janklow the
        “ndn hater” and Means favorite Santa.
        The son in complete violation of legal ethics inserted himself into Arlo Looking
        Clouds defense as an exparte participant – the goal being to discover what Arlo was
        going to say about his AIM buds, also that he was at Bill Mean’s house when the call
        came to murder Annie and he himself needed to know.
        The fact that the Abourezk’s were representing AIM leadership clients at the time
        Charles offered his exparte services violates not only an egregious conflict of
        interest but enforceable legal standards as well.
        It’s been a long held opinion of great many that the father James was a behind the
        scenes facilitator for Uranium and resource deals struck, no question that he and son
        Charles are and have been tight with the AIM leadership.

      • I had to stop reading a book on Tecumseh (I think it was called ‘The Shawnee Prophet’). When I got to the part where he began to get a lot of followers & he began torturing people. Indigenous NATIVE people. When I got to the part where he hung an elderly woman upside down over a fire I had to stop. I just could not get through the rest of her torture. And this was a positive portrayal… the tone of the book. (Obviously by the title chosen).

        I got to that part & said: WHY am I reading this. HOW is this educating me.

        I subscribe to a Lebanese blog from a Lebanese who often criticises various things there. (The last post was about an enormous religious statue. There was a heated argument w/ me pointing out our indigenous early Syriac Faith is now almost completely lost due to the Romans & Greeks hijacking the Church & we are not even meant to have statues… or rosaries… or purgatory… or original sin… or immaculate conception… etc.). People can’t stand to criticise themselves. We have to stop blaming everyone else.

      • Change begins when in the midst of pointing fingers and blaming
        everyone but themselves people pause for a moment do a little
        introspective examination – nobody is perfect but it is the way
        in which they go about addressing and attempting to remediate
        their own imperfections that speaks to who they are.
        As nations we have a litany of valid complaints against Catholics
        and Christians, yet I don’t blame every Catholic or Christian.
        A great deal of the associated tenets are by design meant to
        be control mechanisms that if you read their books cannot be
        validated by scripture – purgatory and a mediating priest who
        acts as a stand in to absolve sins are examples.

      • I agree w/ you – except I would add that even the “scripture” is false. Linguists & bible scholars are now starting to tease out which sayings in the Gospels can be attributed* to Jesus. Who was a wise teacher. Who had ZERO desire to be thought of as God or worshipped or begin a new religion. (*by examining which words are the Aramaic he would have spoken etc.).

        Perhaps you should be angry at every Christian you meet.

        I don’t even understand all the crosses at – for one example – the Pine Ridge cemetery.

        I’m reading a great book now. About James the brother of Jesus. About when he was head of the ‘Church’ (group of Jews believing this new form of Judaism). And how the Church was hijacked & derailed after that by Paul.

        And then it completely lost the thread when Constantine made it a state religion & painted crosses on his soldiers shields. And then even more w/ Augustine’s ‘Just War’ theory. And then even more w/ the schism between East & West. And finally the reformation & hundreds of splinter groups.

        The whole thing was hijacked & ruined. There is no such thing as Christianity. Our Aramaic Syriac indigenous Church has been destroyed & decimated. There are only slivers now.

        Also our beautiful pre-Christian beliefs were ruined & lost.

        Much of the bible is an angry book about killing my (Canaanite/Aramaen) people. Read Joshua (for only one example). And it’s still used for this purpose in Palestine.

        So please be angry along w/ us.

      • “I don’t even understand all the crosses at – for one example – the Pine Ridge cemetery.

        I don’t either and consider it anathema, but there are Christians and Catholics among
        the nations and I think of it as their choice.
        I had a great friend who pastored a little country church – accepted no salary or
        “parsonage” and worked two jobs to support his family. When the collection plate
        was passed he made a point of telling people to give what they could and to take
        what they needed, and he meant it – a man I respected who never attempted to
        proselytize me and knew exactly where I stood and had the same complete lack of
        respect for televangelists as I do.
        He would wander city streets sometimes at night helping homeless people, got
        knocked a round a few of times and so friends began to accompany him, I did
        a couple of times and was impressed, it wasn’t about “spreading the word” it was
        about helping his fellow man.
        Grandfather has some interesting and sometimes funny stories to tell about the black
        robes when he was a kid that I’ve blogged about in the past – one involving
        Mormon missionaries and a priest vying for his soul.

      • Ja das ist richtig. Yeah you’re right. It’s not my place but I wonder to myself at why any of your people would *want* to be ‘Christian’. Wonder silently. It would be rude to challenge someone. So I’ve never said anything. Wonder in the sense of trying to understand it.

        I get your position more. Since I am animist on one side of the family; passed down via my German grandmother & mom – by the looks of it from prehistory! Since it matches ZERO from fake neopagans. We believe in God for probably the biggest thing. They make me laugh! Especially the costumes & the chalices & fake ceremonies etc. If they were so into ‘nature’ they wouldn’t need all the props! And the ones who call themselves ‘witches’. We still have all kinds of ‘folk’ ceremonies where we light fires & dress covered w/ straw & masks etc. that are about keeping ‘witches’ & evil away. Most likely some of the poor people thrown in peat bogs were thought to be witches. Though some were honoured people sacrificed. Who knows. The truth is all we have are the remnants. Thanks to Christianity. Lol. O_O Thanks for destroying our culture! And of course we still have our ancestors talking to us in dreams. Dream healing. Which isn’t the lairy fairy thing most outsiders would expect either. My grandfather once came to my grandmother in a dream when she was sick & told her she needed to drink a Coke. So she had a Coke. She never drank Coke. Of course that was when it had sugar still vs. corn syrup. It makes sense because it’s water w/ sugar & cola syrup which was/is a caribbean remedy for stomach trouble. (Hence it started as a medicine – I think in New Orleans… ?). I doubt my grandmother or grandfather knew all that history behind Coke. Neopagans try too hard. They make me laugh. They should just observe. Vs. all the reconstructionism. It’s all there for the taking. Something Jesus said. Or someone else *said* that he said! That the flowers in the fields don’t bother w/ thoughts & none of us can make our hair grow by thinking. People read his words in such somber tones outloud. It makes me laugh! He was joking w/ that hair comment – chastising people. Or w/ the camel through an eye of a needle comment. That’s how we Syrians talk.

        On my father’s side w/ the Syriac Church I really am not in line w/ most of it. It’s been RUINED by outsiders Greeks & Romans & Latin Rite Catholic Europeans. But some of our original Church is beautiful. At Christmas in the Orthodox (oldest) Church everyone gets a beeswax candle & the whole church goes black w/ all the light put out & we walk in the dark around the church three times then the Priest bangs really really hard (LOL!) on the door asking to be let in again. Then the doors are opened from inside (you don’t see by who) & the church is lit again. Then everyone repeats Christ is Risen over & over. Lol. They yell it basically. And for a about a month afterward everytime you see someone (another Orthodox) you kiss them three times & say that. (Pascal greeting).

        I look at this as the remainder of the solstice celebration celebrating the Light/Sun/Life Giving Source that it actually is.

        But honestly that is all just a remainder of our pre-Christian beliefs in Baal/Adonis (Phoenician/Canaanite/Syrian/Lebanese) & Balder (German/Norse) God who is light/life – represented by the Sun. It is a belief based on Solstices & marking the wheel of the year. That’s why it was found all over the world w/ agrarian people. Yet not w/ hunting or herding people. Because the latter weren’t obsessed w/ making sure the grain grows again. If you’re following reindeer or seals (etc.) or buffalo or camels or your sheep to semi-nomadic grazing – you’re not going to practise that.

        And of course that was laminated onto the very wise teachings of this Jewish rabbi prophet in Roman era Syria. And those are brilliant teachings. Like you said re. following your friend around to help people. If they can be teased out from all the false dross laminated on top! In Orthodoxy – which is the earliest church beliefs/practises we retain – ‘sin’ means only literally ‘missed the mark’ of the teachings. And there is no gradation of sin or shame etc. Those are all Latin Rite Western Catholicism & Protestant inventions. I sinned when I didn’t carefully read your comments to me about your tribal justice system taken from you. And if I killed someone I would have sinned. It’s all sin to us. What I love about our original Orthodox faith is the simple beauty of that/it. It’s called theosis – meaning (in Greek) to become like God. The concept is that the Being/Spirit that brought us into being created us as a fraction a mirror of Itself & in order to return to that Spirit of Light/become Light when we pass we should strive to as Jesus said be ‘like little children’ free of cruelty & judgement & full of wonder & joy. That way we experience passing as being taken into the Light. We don’t have ‘Hell’. The concept is a misrepresentation by Latins & then Protestants of what we believe occurs if you have not striven for theosis. The early Church believes that when you pass the Light/God is so strong & good it would burn away & cleanse all the evil thoughts & feelings left. Like a purification. There is no body so there is no body to burn. Most of Christianity is a complete corruption of our early Faith. They just didn’t get what was meant by ‘sin’ & ‘fire’ & almost everything else.

        Still what I believe & practise sounds like what you believe & practise. That I got from my grandmother. Not that our grandparents would call it animism.

        I don’t believe in the Trinity. I don’t believe Jesus is God. I don’t even believe Jesus believed he was God! That came from the Greeks. There are millions of Jews who believed as Jesus believed. They weren’t wrong in seeing him as a rabbi vs. God before & they’re not wrong now.

        Although I do suspect that the Christ archetype who appeared in different guises to various people on the planet. A peaceful healer symbolised by Light/Life/Kindness/Love is real & of God. Youhanna the Forerunner (John the Baptist) Jesus Baal Adonis Osiris Balder Ing – the prophet who appeared to the indigenous people here near where I live. THAT I think is real & sacred; that all of these diverse societies across the globe were host to this Christ character. So if one wants to believe in the Trinity in that sense. That God manifested in this emissary character & showed Itself through love/kindness to people. But then I have to believe that is true for all these people/beings/Christ figures.

        I am waiting for the angry Christians to show up in this thread now.

        And a thousand times what you said about smelling the flowers. That’s the whole of it. Being raised to observe everything & not be dismissive of it. Like we believe the wind has a personality & the cold air has a personality (hard to explain). In German ‘The Wind the Wind the Heavenly Child). My mother used to throw the sash of the window open in Winter when I was small & make me stay in front of the cold air & starry black sky & say “The Coldy is coming to you”. “The Coldy wants to see you.” So everything becomes *good* to you. Vs. people complaining about cold & rain. Or when it snows it is the Goddess Holle daughter of Loki shaking her eiderdowns. The rain is her emptying her wash water. As a child everything in the World is then a personality/being/spirit one has a *real* relationship with. But it’s impossible to explain to people. Unless they are similar from some indigenous community. I don’t even try!

      • What has always interested me is the unmistakable similarities
        between the Epic of Gilgamesh and the Old Testament story of the
        flood – the Epic was written before the Old Testament – the influence
        is too obvious to be denied.
        Interesting about the coke – what worked worked, end of story, as simple
        as that.

      • “What worked worked simple as that” *clapping* & shaking the riqq (tambourine) for your words. Lol.

        Imagine trying to explain to a physician that we get our healing advice from dreams from our relatives who’ve passed on. Not only did morning breakfasts consist of dream analysis. Inc. this Coke prescription from my grandfather waiting through the seam of time & dreams where he’d gone years before; but she would constantly remind me that when she passed to the “Other World” (she called it) she would come to me in my dreams to tell me of illness etc. Lol. It was like: ‘Remember I am going to ring you on thursday – so please answer the phone’.

        I still feel strange when I breakfast w/ people & they don’t recount their dreams w/ everyone discussing them. You’re not going to tell me your dreams? Lol. I sort of left off from expecting it from people. I thought everyone did that.

        My grandmother was horrified if I went to sleep w/ my shoes facing the window. Like w/ your people (if it’s right?) shoes carry our souls/us to the Other World. She believed my soul would leave my body when I slept & use the shoes to leave through the window. And then possibly not want to return. Because sleeping & dreaming is one’s soul wandering. Lol. I hope this makes sense. Honestly I thought as a small girl that all those beliefs were just a way to teach me to be obedient & very orderly. Because w/ indigenous animists the material world IS the immaterial world (no division). So as a child as you’re learning – it’s always ‘Don’t put that object there! This may happen to you.’

        Also for falling asleep. Lol. They would say that I had to go to sleep straight away because all my dolls & stuffed bears etc. had got spirits in them. And they came out after the sun went down; but if I was awake they would have to be still & couldn’t play & I need to let the spirits have their time in our world (the dark hours). Lol. I used to think ‘Alright but also you want me out of the way!’

        A Jewish very close friend of mine became so terrified when I mentioned the shoes belief (in relation to whatever she was saying) that I learned to stop talking w/ most Americans about it. Except for Black & Native Americans. English people & Irish people have not lost all of this to the same degree so I have had friends from England tell me about their prophetic dreams or seeing spirits etc.

        The Coke. Well that’s why neopagans are false. They look to the past. If you listen to the language it’s a tell. Like this Englishwoman who was into all that was telling me about Celts having painted themselves blue w/ woad. My grandfather is from Frankfurt am Main. Our family house there was from the 1400s & our name means we were freemen. His grandfather was an English Lord. So unless someone travelled from far away in the 1400s & suddenly gained this land in a free state – he was Celtic. So I know woad which is a plant used for dying clothes (& is a scourge to ranchers & farmers out West in The States now?) will NOT dye skin. Most likely when the Romans came across our men “naked” except for “blue” “paint” in designs on their skin – they were tattooed. Lol they weren’t completely naked for battle because they wore torques. At their necks & wrists. I love those. I have three…

        Nothing pleases me more than reading those stories of how completely freaked out the Romans were by the Celts & other Germanic tribes.

        Anyway despite that people have even tried to reproduce this supposed blue skin paint from woad nobody has been able to do it. Yet these neopagans keep repeating this. Every people on earth had to pierce or cut the skin to get a blueish or black colour. Lebanese women had our faces tattooed like women of your people. Another thing in common. I’m glad I’m not expected to do that. Although I have seen really beautiful diamond shaped cross patterns between the eyes & under the eyes on the cheekbones – in photos of very elderly N.African women – that I wouldn’t mind having. If blue were possible as a skin paint it would be widespread & able to be reproduced. There is red ochre & yellow etc.

        The other thing she was telling me that made me angry was about ‘these people who used to exist in Egypt who worshipped only John the Baptist’. I had to explain a) They’re not from Egypt & never were b) They’re from modern Palestine/Jordan area c) Surprise! They’re still alive.

        That’s the other thing we have in common w/ you – is people always thinking we’re dead. Or things we do are not done anymore. Even Russell Means was in a long Youtube video saying how ALL the Indians in New England were wiped out. And I almost wrote him to say ‘I’m sorry grandfather but they would be very surprised to hear that about themselves!’ And this was like ten years ago. So where is the excuse? That was a real eye opener for me. It was like… Tell that to the Wampanoag & Mohegan & Pequot. I’m sure they’ll be thrilled that you’ve got their backs!

        It’s always what we USED to do. Lol! And it’s always ‘the Egyptians’. Lol. Because everything ‘Arab’ is bad. So it has to be erroneously placed only in the PAST & attributed to only the people who Victorian Orientalists admired: The Egyptians. ‘Egyptian women used to use sugar to remove body hair’. Lol. We STILL do that. And it’s not just sugar. It’s sugar w/ lemon so it’s a sticky caramel fondant candy.

        It’s like anything that people like about us that they want to appropriate can’t be called Arab. The sugar thing is ‘Egyptian’. Painting designs on our skin w/ Henna is ‘Indian’. Mezze is ‘Moroccan’ or ‘Mediterranean’. Labneh is ‘Greek Yogurt’. Our coffee is ‘Turkish Coffee’ despite it originated in Yemen. Falafel etc. is now Israeli. Because only BAD & EVIL things can be Arab/Arabic.

        I was trying to refer to all this w/ that positive thing that I wrote you earlier about AIM (but it came off a bit like I wasn’t respecting how angry you have every reason to be). I don’t know how old you are or how familiar you are w/ this part of the country; but before AIM some people here literally thought that Indians were gone. As mad as that sounds. I was a child so I barely remember the Wounded Knee siege & Alcatraz. And that was the only thing I meant. There is a road in my hometown named after the Pequots (& a lot of other things named after their words for things such as the entire state) & nobody told us children that they still lived about a two hour drive from us. And the Mohegans even closer. And a smaller tribe even closer. I never heard about the smaller local tribe until some people got angry that they were selling untaxed cigarettes. I noticed them when I started driving. I’d drive past & they had a sign out; like people put out when they have firewood or eggs for sale; only it was for cigarettes. LOVE.

        My friend the pro-Palestinian human rights activist wanted me to write an article for him about meeting a couple of those AIM people. (Because he had interviewed Russell Means). I declined telling him I met them very briefly. What was I supposed to say? There’s a real hero worship for those people from some people. Obviously. That’s what may be behind the love affair James Abourezk had w/ them. My brief encounter w/ them was very strange! Unless it is normal for AIM members to stare into your eyes after being introduced as if we were all about to be marched in front of a firing squad at any moment. Lol. Or madly in love. That’s what I remember from that brief meeting. Prior to watching the aforementioned person holding court on the town Green surrounded by adoring Euro-Americans scene I described to you earlier. Lol. I saw that from a distance whilst out shopping etc.

        I forgot to tell you – in what I wrote about modern neopagans who call themselves ‘witches’ saying it is ancient – when really pre-Christian indigenous people (N.Europe) were afraid of witches. My grandfather (of the Coke dream) passed on before I turned one. But before that – when I was born – he planted a traditional Mountain Ash (Rowan or Witchwood) in front of my window (which was also next to the front door). It has bright red berries & is believed to keep witches away. It used to sing me to sleep by scraping it’s branches against the glass windowpanes w/ the wind every night.

      • I think this is the last comment of yours I didn’t get a chance to respond to. I haven’t seen/found anything yet about James Abourezk to indicate that he had knowledge of or participated in murder etc. (etc. being beatings / rape / terrorising people).

        Is it not possible that he believed their lies (AIM members). And that he was not aware or was blind to the actions of his son.

        Along w/ James Zogby he began our Arab American civil rights movement. We are illegally wiretapped / sent to Guantanamo Bay / extradited & tortured / maligned in film & television & in the press / arrested without cause (in NYC after 9/11) & interrogated / we’re the only people w/ no box on the census so we are a cypher – there is zero data on us. That affects voting & elections & public funding for schools & healthcare…

        So now you’re telling me this person is involved in beating / torture / rape / murder? Is it not possible he was extremely naive & taken in by them?

        He founded the ADC in 1980. It’s been our voice & has offered hundreds of Arab Americans legal assistance for civil rights violations.

        Please point me in the direction for where to look about what you & others are saying about him.

      • What I’m saying is James Abourezk’s son Charles was at Bill Mean’s house
        when the call came to kill Annie – the Abourezk law firm had multiple
        AIM clients – Charles Abourezk inserted himself into Arlo Looking Clouds
        defense as a “friend of the court” when the law firm had active AIM clients,
        a clear cut conflict of interest.
        It is an impossibility that these clients and cases could have been
        represented by the law firm without the father being aware.
        I haven’t implied the father was directly involved in any AIM beatings,
        rapes, or murders.
        I’ll send some links after rooting around in the external to find them.

      • I see what you mean now re. Charles Abourezk. What is ‘A friend of the court’? I’ve never heard of that before. (Looking it up now).

        Sorry to be so taxing to you with having difficulty absorbing this. It’s a huge blow for the reasons I described. The ADC which James Abourezk founded is (along w/ Council on Islamic Relations – but prior to CAIR) the organisation that provides legal care to Arab & Muslim Americans & he began it to fight the negative stereotyping in film & television & the press.

        Prior to Jack Shaheen’s books & films about that. (Books: ‘The TV Arab’ & ‘Reel Bad Arabs’ & a later post 9/11 one). You can find Jack Shaheen’s documentary ‘Reel Bad Arabs’ – about our portrayal in films – in Youtube now. I saw it there in the last couple months – so it’s probably still there. Like that brilliant documentary on your people that was made about portrayal in films – I forget the title. I saw a really great one on Asians in US films also. Forgot that title also. They should be easy to search for. Jack Shaheen is a Lebanese American scholar & author who just passed over. He donated his massive collection of negative portrayals in film & television – his entire archive – to NYU (The Kevorkian Center for Near East Studies at New York University in Greenwich Village in the City).

        The film & television (Do people have those anymore? I don’t.) issue w/ negative & bizarre portrayals is like the thing you were describing in Europe w/ the “hobbyists”. (Is that the word you used?). From my perspective. The stereotyping for entertainment. Or those modern ‘Wild West Shows’ that some indigenous men act in over there. (I saw a documentary w/ this man – one of the indigenous actors – saying that some people back home were angry at him. Lol. Not difficult to sort out why).

        I really loved that first ever Inuit film. (Was the exact title ‘The Runner’ ?). There are brilliant Arab films for years. Can’t list them here – there are too many! My favourite scene though is in Youssef Chahine’s (Egyptian director – passed on) ‘The Land’; when the man is being dragged away from his land & he’s grabbing on to the stalks in his field as he’s being dragged over the earth.

        People don’t even know that we have filmmakers & films! Saying we haven’t done anything of significance in a thousand years. When we have architects & scientists etc. And anyway the way the Bedouin live – to me is even more *brilliant* than any of those measures. Try to find online the documentary ‘The Jahalin’. I saw it in NYC at the NY Film Festival when it came out in the 90s. (I still have the director’s phone number in London – she wrote on a scrap of paper for me). It was online a few years ago. (On Vimeo?). It’s about this large family/tribe of Bedouin & the Israeli State trying to remove them to live in metal shipping crates near a trash dump & without their sheep. Sheep to them = reindeer to the Sami = Buffalo to Northern Plains peoples. They get meat & milk & wool from them. Our words for what English speaking people call tents is ‘House of hair’. But it’s the most beautiful portrayal of our Bedouin brothers & sisters I’ve seen on film. Try & find it online. I hope you’ll find it & watch it. Inshaallah! God willing! xxx

      • Grandmother has made “fetishes” or whatever people prefer to call them of crow feathers and placed in them strategic positions around the house as form of protection – must work as we’ve yet to be attacked by a marauding sasquatch looking to carry off a gatherer as a bride, no bright lights in the sky and “lost time”.
        I don’t entertain anger, don’t hold on to it – there are times I get angry but I pay attention to what I say as I believe words once spoken remain and saying your sorry doesn’t always get it.
        I think there is a time and place for anger as an emotion, but for some it seems as though they are habituated to it, their first reaction – I don’t see where anything constructive can come of that.
        Paint has always been important to the nations, we painted ourselves and even our horses at times for various reasons, in a very real way it became something of a personal totem, a statement was being made or a spirit being called.
        Not all the nations tattooed, though some did and I’m not sure I understand the tattoo craze sweeping the “civilized” countries or all the piercings that aren’t cultural but fads – I think sometimes it’s about being jaded and eager for something new and different,
        or maybe an attention getter like the guy walking around with a snake or screeching macaw on his shoulders.
        I see a man in town occasionally that claims to be of one of the nations, the favored tribe seems to change at times and after the Depp version of the Lone Ranger he began wearing one of those stuffed crow hats like Depp did – I just kind of smiled to myself and dismissed it.
        This may sound weird but I like a Dr.Pepper once in a while with a bag of peanuts poured in it – one time this man saw me and asked what I was doing?
        I told him I was making medicine because he would often ask me things and then tend to argue them – next time I saw him he had a Dr. Pepper with peanuts in it and I’m positive if someone asked him he would tell them was making sacred medicine.

        Weird person though that things didn’t feel right about and not a person I would trust – one time he came a little too close to one of the gatherers and grandmother got into between them and told him in no uncertain words to move on.
        He did and then glowered at her shaking some dime store rattle he had at her – big mistake if he would have attempted to go mojo for mojo for grandmother so I in turn told him to move on and he did.
        Dropping the mic here as I roll out for work in the morning but will send the book list tomorrow and scout around for the video.

      • LOL! I never saw that film. I just looked it up & apparently Johnny Depp came up w/ this costume after taking it from a painting from a Euro-American named Kirby Sattler. This person is shameless. If you read his bio on his website (really an artist’s staement not a bio) you will know what I mean. He says he is interested in “indigenous” peoples; whilst also explaining that these paintings are complete fantasies that are not representative of any real peoples. But then he contradicts himself.


        But lol that is not all! In the original painting it is not worn on the man’s head. It was meant to be a crow flying behind or near the fantasy subject’s head.This crow hat that Johnny invented is available on Amazon & I think from the film “prop” co. that makes it. (I didn’t click onto everything on the first search page). So whoever you saw could have easily bought this online. Lol.

        I live in a little loft in an area w/ shops on the road. There was this woman that used to sit at the tables outside of a shop here w/ a parrot on her shoulder. So one day she offered to give me a car. I politely declined her offer. I still find that puzzling. You are the first person who has told me a story that brings this experience to mind.

        In NYC there was a person in my neighbourhood who walked their cat on a leash. Amazing.

        How do you drink/eat the peanuts in the Dr.Pepper? Spoon? Straw? Neither? I am mystified…

        Re. getting angry. When I write that something makes me angry I don’t mean I am having a meltdown. Lol. I mean I am not at all pleased & I won’t be knitting or baking for them or inviting them to a party. And I am probably going to write James Abourezk a letter.

        Rezinate what happened to the second husband of Annie Mae? The tall man that she married during the siege? Were they not still together when she was murdered? What was his involvement w/ AIM at the time she was killed? And w/ her? He just dropped out of the narratives in what I’ve read & in the documentary I saw two days ago (an old one on Youtube).

      • Finished the job I was doing so posting a couple of replies and then heading out again.

        That would be Nogeeshik Aquash, he was something of an artist.
        The marriage between he and Annie became abusive and they went their separate ways – he wasn’t around when Annie was murder.
        He was involved in a accident winding up paralyzed and in a wheelchair.
        Apparently after Annie’s murder he conducted an investigation of his own and one night called a friend/family saying he knew who had killed Annie – thereafter he died in a fire at his house.
        The general feeling is AIM was behind the fire as it was a weapon of choice for them and questions have been raised about the accident that led to his paralysis.

      • An attempt to get ahead of the narrative – a press conference when
        he learned Branscombe was going to be holding it and inserted himself.
        The faux anguish upon “discovering” the call went to brothers Bill’s
        house is classic Russell, a two bit b grade actor.
        Russell inspite of numerous pronouncements that PR was his domain and
        nothing AIM related could happen there also attempted to say he knew
        nothing about Annie’s murder until ’99 when he just happened to hear
        some women talking about it – quite a coincidence that was the same
        year Branscombe appeared on the scene,
        Knew nothing when multiple family members had an involvement – right,
        I’m believing that.
        I say he knew everything from front to back, from beginning to end.
        Years later after making this statement in a phone conversation with Annie’s
        daughter Denise he said he knew who killed Annie but had given his “word’
        not to say their name while they yet lived.
        That’s an interesting statement since he had pointed the finger at
        Vernon Bellecourt during the Branscombe press conference when you take
        into consideration Vernon had passed on when Russell went on about his
        So which is it – was Vernon the one as he said earlier or someone else
        still alive like Bank$ whose name he wouldn’t mention?
        Means was a pathological liar pure and simple, it was all about him, no
        lie to big or small to tell.
        He “retired” from AIM six times, only to jump back in when his personal
        attentionometer began to wane – with his first retirement in the ’80s he
        said AIM had accomplished all it had set to, that a level playing field
        for the nations now existed, opportunities abounded yada yada yada.
        This was a man who inspite of all the rhetoric felt comfortable enough with
        the government to present a plan to the CIA and request funding for some
        harebrained scheme of his in South America.

      • O_O Wow. I need to do a 23 & me dna test along w/ your family because you are voicing my own thoughts to me. I was going to write you about that Mr.Means ‘gets emotional when learning it happened at his brother’s house’ moment. (Is there video?). I don’t write a lot of what I think to you because I’m already writing dissertations here. But that moment really struck me whilst reading the transcript as well.

        Honestly – these people have zero concept of being a woman on the receiving end of rape/murder. By former FRIENDS. ZERO. And astonishingly this had to be true for the women involved as well.

      • I think magazines like Hustler are exploitative, they don’t align with the matriarchy Means commodified in his later years. They don’t align with traditional beliefs.
        Larry Flynt the owner editor of Hustler launched an independent presidential campaign with Means in the ‘80s as his running mate – didn’t last long as Means couldn’t make it all about him and was blowing through money like he was printing it.
        Means had a tantrum during his time on the Dineh rez when he was married to a Dineh women that he wasn’t allowed to run for tribal office since he wasn’t Dineh – his solution? Run for Governor of Arizona and rake in a few campaign bucks.
        After the ransom was paid during the BIA takeover the big talk was the leadership distributed it among those who traveled to show support and participate – I know people who were involved and they said not so, they had a difficult time making their way back home as the leadership took the huge majority of the money and laid up in hotels partying.
        Like I say – follow the money and ask who benefits from the lie?
        I’ve yet to understand how women got behind AIM, not all of them did but still…..
        I’ll find and attach the video link – thinking it may be in the linked blogs I
        posted in a reply.

      • “exploitive”

        A thousand times THIS. In fact I don’t even like discussing it. It’s not our tradition to even discuss that with the opposite sex. (Key word here is ‘opposite’. Because what goes on at a bride’s wedding hafli the night before the wedding does not count).

        It’s not only exploiting financially & spiritually bereft people but it puts every girl & woman walking down a street or road or even in her own house or w/ people she knows (as in the case of Annie Mae) in danger.

        This is beyond great to hear from a man. Assuming you are a man – lol – it is the internet after all & anyway I don’t care… you could be intersex for all I know & care.

        Regarding “tradition”. I don’t buy the ‘free love’ lie of the previous generations either. As Joni Mitchell said – that was only ever true for men not for women. (She gave her daughter up for adoption before the music fame). Aside from pregnancy there are the bonding chemicals after people sleep together. (Oxytocin?). I read women make twice as much as men. Lol (*sound of big heavy law book slamming shut*) Sorted! We can all go home now. Ages old mystery solved.

        An example of this spiritual entropy & how it affects women is what happened to Annie Mae. At the hands of trusted people who should have protected her.

        As little girls we all have stars in our *eyes*. And then you get there & it’s … ‘Wait where are these men who were supposed to protect me?’ What a nightmare.

        ‘Everywhere the ceremony of innocence is drowned’ – Yeats

      • Well, I am a heterosexual man and wouldn’t have it any other
        way – I don’t figure a person’s sexuality is or should be a
        concern of mine, but neither do I want it shoved in my face
        nor in the habit of allowing women to be disrespected in my
        presence even though I may believe some are worthy of it.
        It all goes to balance or the lack of it – for the most part
        there doesn’t seem to be anything but extremes.
        I don’t think of women as property, chattel, or whose sole
        purpose in life is to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen
        in servitude to a man.

      • Where was John Trudell in all of this?

        I always felt terrible for him because of what happened to his family.

        Don’t tell me that fire can be blamed on AIM as well. (You said fire was part of their MO).

        I loved some of his poetry.

        I am going to have to start pacing myself in absorbing these truths about people.

        He was in the old documentary I saw day before last on Annie Mae Pictou on Youtube – blaming the FBI.

      • Trudell was kind of a mixed bag and predictably there are mixed
        opinions about him – I think he knew a lot more than he said
        and that could be because he was a national director of AIM
        at one time and knew what they were capable of.
        As to the fire that took the lives of his wife and children
        AIM always claimed it was the feds ( predictably ) and others
        said AIM was behind it – as for myself I don’t believe it was
        the feds and don’t know if it was AIM or not.
        Trudell was in the car in California along with Vernon
        Bellecourt and Bank$ when Bank$ made the announcement that
        Annie’s body had been discovered, and if you recall this
        was some time before her remains had been identified by

      • And Trudell’s mother in law was killed in the fire – no?

        Sometimes people fall into denial – a kind of hopeful blindness – when they are surrounded by abusive family. They know but don’t want to admit it to themselves. I wonder if that was/is a factor w/ him. It is really hard to see him in that light.

        Just now I checked my email for a download from Indian Country of something they published re. intergenerational PTSD amongst Natives. (Forgot exact title & it wasn’t sent yet so I opened your response in my email instead). That must have been what you were referring to re. PTSD. If you sign up for their free email now they offer that as a free download.

        What is your view on how Indian Country has handled/reported the Annie Mae Pictou & AIM guilt coverage over the years? In conjunction w/ Peltier coverage?

        I’ve forgotten who founded Indian Country.

        Changing horses; I was on the FB of the daughter of Annie Mae – Denise – and got sent back over to your blog a few times. I read the ‘Gravy Train’ article & another. You write really really well. Did you ever read/use writing guides/books? I want to write like you when I grow up.

        I’m familiar w/ all this on a personal level. I had a Palestinian friend that was arrested by the Occupier for dancing. Because they did not want young men to get together. They were afraid they would plot against the Israel State. And he & his friends would get together for Dabke. (Our traditional group dancing). It’s like the fears the US govt had about Ghost Dance/Dancing. Basically there’s a parallel between everthing NA & Palestinian. Weirdly. We even make what we call Ulli Ulli – the high pitched trilling sound women make. And your women make that also. Or did. And women’s faces tattooed after marriage… etc. He was imprisoned for three years & tortured. But I experienced with him something along the lines of what people experienced w/ these AIM members. To be deliberately vague. I really know this story. But ‘My brother & me against my cousin; my cousin & I against the enemy’ – so I don’t want to feed people ammo to be used against us by telling the rest of that story here. Suffice it to say I really understand this story on a personal level.

      • I’d like to be able to write without my nose stuck in a dictionary
        and when revisiting blogs having to correct spelling. Never used
        or read any books about how or what to write – figure it’s enough
        if people can understand/decypher what I post.
        Annie’s website is well worth visiting, have it in my blogroll as
        being recommended.
        Paul DeMain is the founder and owner and he’s the one that broke
        the whole Peltier myth wide open – like me he had been a supporter
        but when digging deeper couldn’t remain one.
        He and Denise became a formidable team when investigating Annie’s
        murder and I have a great deal of respect for both of them – both
        have commented in the blog at times.
        There was a time when I had eased myself into commenting on the ROL,
        started out slow and then began asking the hard questions, didn’t take
        long to get banned, but I expected as much.
        I love that high trilling women do, there is something of a primordial
        resonance in it for me, much the same as the sound of a drum.
        And that henna patterns thing is something I like though I’ve
        mostly seen it in photos.
        There was a custom among some nations at one time where women would make
        and wear dresses with symbols extolling the feats and accomplishments of
        their man, a sort of brag dress – unfortunately too many of our women
        haven’t had much too brag about for a time and should be extolled themselves.
        I’ve learned a lot about your culture and appreciate it – had me jumping around on the net to learn more and new words.
        Kind of interesting that you’re goldsmith, when I was on the cusp of leaving my teen years at eighteen and nineteen I did a couple of lost wax gold pieces – nothing elaborate and though I remember them as being nice I may be flattering myself.
        But I did do quite a bit of sand casting with silver and used to cut and polish the turquoise cabs I used.
        Not a goldsmith in any sense of the word but I knew my way around sand casting and have threatened to get back into it.
        I have a friend in Seattle who makes jewelry out of spoons and forks, quite an imagination, and does well by it.
        The gatherers are adept at beading and can execute very intricate designs- grandmother is the tutor and it’s something of a song fest when they begin beading, lot of laughing and anecdotes. In addition she is instructing them in the medicine ways, a lengthy process that could take years and as I understand it there’s no play when it comes to that.
        If at some point she feels as though they aren’t dedicated and for the right reasons she won’t play any favorites, they’ll be “expelled”.
        Serious business and that’s her approach.
        You mentioned living in a loft – I always thought a tree house would be nice.
        When I was kid there was a cave I used to frequent, kind of a club house for the hounds and me – years later I went back and was amazed at how small it had become.
        There are unmistakable parallels and more’s the pity as it speaks to lessons never learned, history repeating it.

      • Re. the women’s ulli ulli & drum & how it makes you feel. Here’s a poem about that I wrote a while ago. A ‘Mahrajan’ is a festival. The ‘h’ should get stuck. Curl your tongue to the roof of the mouth vs. exhaling for an English ‘h’. Almost like a ‘k’… but lol not at all like a ‘k’… ‘Mamoul’ are these *amazing* pastries made for holidays. I’ll send your grandmother a recipe. The flavour will turn you to gold. But they used to joke that you knew to whose house company was coming because you would hear the thumping rythmic drumming sounds of women pounding some food w/ a wooden bowl & pestle. I have a wooden one from Lebanon & a marble one. The wooden one is louder. Now people use a cuisinart/food processor. (Lol. Other people not me). I don’t think it tastes as good. Mamoul are filled w/ nuts (or dates) & have orange blossom water in them. And/or rosewater. The ones w/ nuts are the ones that would get pounded that I wrote of. My dad took us to hear Lebanese/Syrian music w/ dancers a lot. Sometimes the drummer would play something & then she – the solo dancer – would repeat it w/ her bare feet & add something. We do this w/ poetry also. I forgot the name for that. It’s like a contest really. The other thing people will do is shout things at the musician; often a joke & everybody will burst out laughing. Also if baby’s cry during a performance it’s accepted as a good thing. That’s also true in church. I’m not living near any Lebanese/Syrian/Arabs/N.Africans now. When I go to a Mahrajan in NYC it’s such a relief. It’s such a joy. I’m not the other anymore. It’s so hard to explain. There are couple dances w/ swords & line dances & circle dances also… different than the dance I mentioned before.


        Let us meet together
        under the wooden sound
        in the bowl to make mamoul

        Under the dancer’s foot

        Inside the blackened almond eye

        After our true stories arrive in shards

        The song

        and responding shouts

        at a festival

        the LOUD h a n d c l a p s

        the dancer’s naked foot




      • A thousand times *this* (“speaks to something primordial in (you)”).

        What I suspect is that for us it cuts through all the surface learning due to that it is heard & deciphered via hearing/auditory processing. (The brain processes hearing in a specific way than reading & seeing – just like how scent brings back specific memories). And as scientists are discovering via dna & epigenetics we pass on a lot of memories & biological traits in manners not previously understood by contemporary science. (Vs. how you & I were raised to believe).

        I had this the first time I ate a pickled lemon. I grew up on Arab food but for some reason never had those. In my late twenties I had the first one. It’s a really Lebanese food. Honestly my mind felt like I had been eating them all my life. As if it was a favourite food that I’d missed & hadn’t had in a long while. Only that doesn’t even describe it. It was something more intense.

        Everytime I hear the Ulli Ulli it’s the same.

        I was really surprised when I first heard Plains Indians doing that (I forget where). Lol. I thought only we did that! I am kind of mystified that we are the only two peoples that have it also. (Syrians/Arabs/North Africans/Arabic East Africans(?) & indigenous Plains Indians). What is that about do you think? Aside from our more general sexiness I mean. (*waits for pointy objects to be thrown at her head by the rest of the planet*).

      • My human rights advocate friend (for Palestinians etc.) in New Haven ( http://www.thestruggle.org ) just emailed me after I sent him some links re. AIM & the rape/murders of Annie Mae Pictou & Ray Robinson. He is the one who I told you interviewed Russell Means. He said this is the first he heard of anything. He’s not only a supporter of Palestinians (He’s Ashkenazi Jewish American) but also for environmental justice & indigenous justice etc. Obviously when he interviewed Russell Means. I wrote back saying I’ll send all I can.

        I’m no longer recieving your comments to my inbox. (You’ll see my explanation of that on your latest post). I’m made to walk nature’s gaunlet beaten from all sides – lol – that’s WHY. It’s a *test* of strength.

        I may send you a box of paper & a beautiful pen & envelopes & stamps if this doesn’t get sorted. And who knows whoever else is commenting to me from other blogs that I haven’t got. (I am polyblogamous).

        So I may not see any of your comments to me ever again. Farewell cruel blogosphere.

      • I’m partially familiar with thestruggle site and suspect your
        friend is in for an eyeopener with the AIM/Means material you
        sen him if he doesn’t go into denial first.

      • I don’t want to talk about my friend here. Perhaps in an email later. I will only say he is the *last* person that would be in “denial” about this. I can already tell from his email to me. Because he replied by sending me something he found on his own about the murder of Annie Mae as soon as he read what I sent him. And that was after he said it was the first he knew of it. Not that he doesn’t believe it.

        Anyway I think he may have had articles in Indian Country (?). I can’t recall. I know he has sent me something from there. I think asking me to comment on some rights issue. It was awhile ago.

        The reason I feel this way is because of what he told me of how he got his start defending Palestinians. He has more moral integrity & sense of fairness than most everyone I have ever met.

        To change horses; the comment that went through to my email was the one you just left here in this thread. So not getting your comments to email has something to do w/ that one post about the cave (& WordPress on my end?). My head is killing me – as I’ve been sitting here for hours trying to sort this. I probably need to eat & drink something.

      • I meant no offense re your friend only that there are those
        who go into denial when the facts are presented, even people
        I know have.
        Hopefully as he learns more he will pay it forward and spread
        the word.

      • I knew you meant no offense Rezinate. Rezolver. Rezonable. I knew exactly what you meant. Thank you for saying that though.

        I was thinking tonight – maybe my friend can interview Denise for his Youtube channel. This would bring a lot more people to the truth. He belongs to a few other peace/justice orgs as well. (One just awarded Ralph Nader & Omar Barghouti – founder of the BDS movement – the Gandhi Peace Award). Does she avoid interviews?

        Changing horses: I went on the WordPress support page & it says the ‘settings’ (on your end) are what is at issue for your comments to me (that you *already* made) not being sent to my email.

        But you said you already checked those. And then there is the weird matter of the WordPress ‘comments’ page for me (my email addy) leaving off at 11 Sept (of all tainted days).

        Anyway I got this comment from you to my email. I suppose I will know what is happening in future days inc. w/ new posts on other blogs. Honestly I spent so much time on this tonight trying to figure out if I will stop hearing from all my favourite bloggers & commenters ever again that I’m exhausted.

        Honestly I’m so terrible at tech (IT tech – not working w/ my hands technical) that I’m starting to want to go back to what my Oma did; post beautifully written letters & in the two weeks or more that you waited for a reply you could get so much more done. Which is probably why I have piles of her beautifully embroidered linens still w/ me. I’m growing disallusioned w/ this toy that connects me to the world.

        I need more time to read real books & bake & knit & embroider & make things. This piece of plastic & glass is sucking half my life into it. About four hours to try to figure out WordPress & not even sorted.

        In other news I am just now reading your old posts (links) you sent me. The only one I’ve read so far is from 2014; your response to the linked Youtube video memorialising the passing of Russell Means. I have to say it again: you write really well. Plus I keep having to look up words you use; which is not very usual for me. As I’m a ‘reading saved my life’ type. So it’s usually the other way round. All the points are beyond truthful. That stripped & shelled car story about Russell Means from a commenter was really illuminating. I have known sociopaths w/ so called ‘selective memory’ also. Offering that as a response/excuse is a form of abuse. Especially because the person requiring details is usually the one suffering from some prior abuse from that very person who ‘can’t remember’. It’s gaslighting. In which they think only they have a right to the truth. In this case knowing where bodies are buried. Who are the other people murdered & buried there beside Ray Robinson?

        Off to read the other links you sent now…

      • As I said I think it’s a good idea if your friend interviewed
        Denise – as to names of AIM’s victims at WK2 I couldn’t say
        offhand, though there is at least one woman and the body count
        is from eight to twelve.
        I’ve checked on my settings on this end and they remain as they
        have always been, I’ve changed nothing but going to use the help
        link to explain the problem and ask what’s up.

      • Found & watched the video of the 99 press conference w/ R.Means on Annie Mae’s FB.

        Thanks for the links sent earlier. I’ll read them in a bit. It’s a lot for me. I’m not a fast reader.

      • PS: Johnny Depp has said before that his mom is Native. (Or grandmother?). It’s not difficult to believe w/ that face & straight brown hair.

        Also maybe your Dr.Pepper & peanuts really is medicine. Who knows all that you cured him of. Distrust. Suspician. Analytical thought. You did well R.

      • Depp supposedly has some degree of native blood, during the filming of LR he was adopted by the Comanche – at one point he was said to be on the verge of purchasing pe lsa land for sale and donating it to the Sioux – that began something of a campaign to enlighten him re Crow Dog and AIM , bottom line is he backed off.
        What’s of interest is Crow Dog is quoted years before as describing where Ray was buried and the plan should be to convince an actor to buy the land where his remains lay, remove the evidence and then gift it to the Sioux (see first link below).
        Which to me demonstrates how ignorant Crow Dog is – like what’s the approach? Tell an actor they need to purchase the land, become complicit in the coverup and then give the land to AIM ?
        Something of a task wending my way through the archives but as that continues here’s a few links to flesh out the AIM story.
        I would chew on a couple of peanuts and take a swallow of Dr. P – in what I considered to be a stroke of pure genius I decided to pour the peanuts in the bottle and have the best of both worlds simultaneously.
        Pleased with the results I’ve kept it.












      • I finally read all the links to your earlier posts you sent. Who was that discussing w/ Crow Dog (interviewing?) the burial/sale of land etc.? Where was that from? Why is there a transcript?

      • ‘Accusations that he was involved in Aquash’s murder have swirled for years, Banks acknowledged. He has always denied them… He said he was happy for the opportunity to think about her … “We were in love” he said … “There are no secrets and questions left. If there’s a burning house, no one gives an order to put out the fire. Someone just goes and does it. It was people who fell into an idea.” ‘ – ‘Who Killed Anna Mae? NYT Magazine 25 April 2014


        The comments section has several from the wife of Ray Robinson. They are almost more interesting than the whole article.

        The saddest part of this story is being murdered by someone you were in love with. Or rather put out like a “fire” according to the person man she loved quoted here.

        Scrape away the rest & underneath it for HER is a tragic love story including jealous women who said they wanted her taken out & other women who didn’t help her when she was beaten & raped & bound by her wrists & stuffed in the car trunk to be driven away. Note: the last minute attempt at a phone call to the police which someone interrupted by hanging up the phone. These are a LOT of people involved. And the sounds of what was happening to her must have been bad for someone IN the house to try to ring the POLICE.

        I hadn’t known about this. The last I knew was that people blamed her murder on the FBI. Because w/ the First & Second Intifada / 1996 Cana Masacre / 9/11 / Iraq war / 2006 bombing of Lebanon / Marwahin Massacre / Syrian uprising / Syria war / 21 martyrs / Coptic Church bombings / Syrian refugee crisis / Islamist terrorist attacks in Germany & elsewhere … etc. I lost the thread for what’s been going on for you here. My apologies.

        I have more to say about we women from honour based cultures such as ours falling for certain freedom fighting charismatic brothers only to be burned by them – but I don’t want to write that here.

      • One could hardly expect Bank$ to take a different tact than the one he has – Annie was the great love of his life, had he of only known she was in danger, and he along with everyone trusted her implicitly.
        The “warrior” who fled out tha back door when Ray’s wife showed up wanting to talk to him, the same “warrior” who sent directives that no one should talk to Bob Branscombe, a relative of Annie’s, when he began his own investigation.
        Crow Dog was the one that started calling Annie an informant after she called out Means and others for being drunk and or high on drugs at ceremonies and Crow Dog allowing it – that would be Crow Dog the wife beater and “plastic shaman”
        “Informant” was tossed around like confetti if you dared to question or fell from favor and I seriously doubt a sociopathic narcissist like Bank$ ever loved anyone but himself.
        Bank$ was the one who identified Annie’s remains when they were discovered immediately upon the discovery from a distance of a thousand miles or so away and days, weeks, before anyone else could without ever having viewed them.
        Bank$ is the one recorded on wiretap instructing Chris Westerman to get rid of Ray’s body during WK2 – Bank$ is the one Means said who could make people disappear.
        So I say Bank$ is a liar, a fraud, complicit to murder, and question why he got a free pass?
        Neither Bank$, Means, or any of the leadership attended Annie’s faux and hurried “traditional burial” in PR. So much for love and trusting a sister huh?
        Her family had to fight to recover her remains and take them home for reburial.
        Very few people remain ignorant enough to continue saying the feds killed Annie following the confession and conviction of Arlo Looking Cloud, Thelma Rios’ related testimony, and the conviction of John Graham the shooter – even AIM points the finger at Graham now, admits he’s the shooter but stop short of say why and what “tribunal” participants ordered it.
        Of course it’s to be expected some have attempted to claim the convictions are part of a nefarious conspiracy against AIM, but a person once again would have to be ignorant to believe it, that are thoroughly indoctrinated – it’s stock in trade, an attempted deflection.
        They all covered themselves in some manner and the only way to have done so is by being informants – Means was outed following his passing for “assisting” law enforcement develop cases – what acts of reciprocity took place, what was the quid pro quo?
        AIM’s fawning “pie patrol”, women wanting to bask in what they thought was the reflected glory of their dear leaders and willing to follow orders if they believed it advanced their status and no less complicit. The most powerful within the patrol were Means relatives – relatives who either had a direct hands on participation in her abduction and murder or were lead “interrogators” at the WKLDC office when she was beaten with attorney Bruce Ellison in attendance.

      • I can’t get her praying before she was killed out of my mind. And that poem she wrote to him printed in the NYT article I sent you. That poem really resonates w/ me. It’s such a perfect simple poem.

        Anyone who has been really in love & then abandoned knows how almost unbearably painful that is – I cannot even imagine then being murdered by that person/person’s friends.

        In Arabic culture we believe that anyone who dies w/ unrequited love becomes a martyr (honoured in afterworld).

      • Now that the nations have found public favor and the associated
        romantic imagery I’ve been inclined to say we don’t walk on water,
        to expect as much is an unfair and unrealistic burden to place on
        We are not all chiefs or warriors with six pack abs, or the buxom
        babes with feathers in their hair and wolves and eagles as companions
        as portrayed in art on the net.
        We are human beings, and as such have individual flaws.
        When we err we are no less accountable, or at least should not be.
        The act that placed crimes committed within the nations under
        federal jurisdiction limiting our ability to adjudicate crimes
        within our communities was the murder of a man over a woman – the
        perpetrator was either Crow Dog’s father or grandfather – which
        by any traditional protocol would have broken the line “succession”
        as medicine men.
        Crow Dog claims to the fourth in that succession.
        I have no qualms in acknowledging tribal warfare was a reality, that
        some nations took slaves, or that for some nations scalping which has
        taken place in global cultures was not a foreign custom introduced to
        this country.
        Scalping was alive and well among some of the nations long before any
        “discoverers” arrived.
        Annie’s murder reveals the true nature of AIM, the extent they were willing
        to go as they strutted around with pipes as props talking about the “great
        mystery”, and Means last scam where he became the oracle of matriarchy.
        A man known for having abused women, dealing drugs, and being a pimp, and
        yet non indigenous women gushed about how enlightened he was and what a
        wonderful man to be such a champion for women as Annie’s spirit cast a
        shadow over him, the rest of the leadership and AIM itself.
        American Indian Movement? Excuse the language but I prefer the accuracy of
        Assholes In Moccasins.

      • I’m too tired to sleep lol. Please remind me what we did before we had these little tiny computers (AKA phones) we could carry everywhere inc. to sleep.

        To answer your comment: Please never use the phrases “warriors with six pack abs” & “buxom babes with feathers” to me EVER again. My brain is melting from the cartoon steam coming out of my ears.

        LOATHE those paintings. The only thing that makes me as angry in the same way are White Christ paintings & belly dance costumes (those premiered on a Victorian era America sideshow attraction ‘dancer’ called ‘Little Egypt’ & have ZERO to do w/ us).

        Lol. Now I am angry & I will never get to sleep.

        The only reason why Euro-Americans are admiring fantasists of NA people is because they feel they – you – are sufficiently contained & no longer a threat to their colonialist ‘manifest destiny’ machinations. (This nation is outsourcing Manifest Destiny now as they have been for a few decades).

        Palestinians/Palestine & to a lesser degree (though that is not saying much) Lebanon – are NOW where indigenous Americans were 150 years ago. Observe the camps & the remaining desire for the rest of Palestinians to be removed (live in refugee camps elsewhere that become permanent).

        When you see film & video & read about what is unfolding in Palestine – you must feel like you’re freakishly looking into your past.

        When every Palestinian is dead or in a camp (reservation) I’m sure they will look like adorable children & wise elders to Israelis just as Euro-Americans see indigenous Americans now. As the erroneous mis-percieved threat will be gone.

      • It’s fairly well documented that the concentration camps in
        Germany were modeled after the gulags here and I suspect the
        eugenics program as well.
        Europe has been a big market for all things indigenous, an
        opportunity AIM cashed in on and still do – friends there tell
        me they have “hobbyists” who dress and act in the way they
        believe we do.
        Funny thing though I’ve had Europeans who have never been to
        this country or set foot on the rez angrily defend Bank$ and
        Means, called me all sorts of names.
        I welcome opinions but the ability to do the math is the same
        whether you live in this country or another as long as the facts
        are available, which they certainly are.
        The big fear among conservatives in this country is they know the
        day is coming when whites will become a minority – the current
        administration is the result of this awareness and something of
        a last gasp.
        Seems like building bridges would be to everyone’s benefit whether
        in Palestine or here, but apparently they are of a different opinion
        and no one should be surprised by that, all they have to do is look
        at the history.

      • “last gasp” Or last grasp.

        Hitler is quoted as complimenting the US on how it ‘dealt’ w/ the Indian ‘problem’. (I don’t have a quote here – just paraphrasing).

        I had a row w/ my childhood friend who is Jewish (Ashkenazi/Russian German). She was saying I should feel “guilty”. But – and silence everyone get the riqq (tambourine) for this intro to what I’m about to say – my grandmother’s sister was murdered by the Nazi’s for having a disability & her brother in law for being Jewish & editor of a trade paper. (Business paper re. office machines. Very radical!).

        Yet my former childhood friend’s family lost nobody & had been in the US since the 19th c.

        So I asked her if SHE felt guilty for the treatment of Native Americans. Since she is Euro-American. (W/ very pale skin & blue eyes also; so not even experiencing racism meant for others). She said it was “not the same”. I said it’s almost EXACTLY the same. Aside from it is ONGOING for indigenous people here.

        Then I gave some really parallel examples. Such as people locked in wooden churches & burned. And The Sand Creek Massacre & “Lice make nits” order given to tell US soldiers to kill the NA babies also.

        When I told my mother this. She said “It’s never ‘the same.'” (Meaning people think they are special & dismiss the comparable suffering of others).

        So the next time I went to this former HS classmate’s place (& the last time) I gave her an old copy of Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee that I’d read about ten years earlier when I was about 18. I didn’t say anything; just handed it to her. She said at some point “I should probably read this”.

        I just learned of those crazy Europeans w/ NA obsessions you’ve written of – or really THE NOBLE INDIAN obsessions – recently in the last few years! There was some documentary I saw. I don’t want to tell people what to do but if I were you I would be really angry at my brothers who ‘act’ in those – whatever they are called – plays (?).

        I am FURIOUS about this kind of thing. LOL. The cute little neighbours of my mom got old enough to ask me “What are you?” (Rude question I get from adults; but I don’t mind it from kids). I said “I’m an Arab”. They got saucer eyed. I felt so bad for them. The little girl I’d known her since she was two & she was then about seven or eight. So I said “You’re afraid because you thought we only lived in fairy tales & scary movies – right?” And they nodded. And I said something like “I’m the same person you’ve known your whole life.” And they bounced back. Descalated from the anti-Arab panic.

        These people simply do not realise how they add to othering & marginalising us w/ their romantic exoticising. I could write a dissertation on how this false lionising leads to exclusion & even DEATH. There I said it. If people are only exoticised & treated like otherworldly creatures – aside from alienating us from the REST of humanity – it MAKES IT EASIER TO KILL US. When people are not REAL. There’s NO ‘Arab girl next door’. Palestinians don’t REALLY exist as your neighbour as long as you exoticise them. And people find it easier to kill people who are not their neighbours. Because Arabs don’t live in the real world amongst ‘normal’ people etc.

        Edward Said’s book Orientalism explains it all.

        LOL. That’s why all my Arab American brothers marry blondes. They’re in the bank vault (Stockholm Syndrome). It’s self loathing. They want to escape being othered. If you look inside a Lebanese Syrian Church now in America or even over there – people are paler & paler & more Euro looking every year. Yet only 100 years ago most of the people looked Mongolian. (Like my father & I). How is this possible. When people are othered even w/ weird fairytale pageants like the one you describe. They don’t like it. And try to assimilate & then LOSE their actual culture. And in our case even facial features.

        Meanwhile because I look like I stepped out of one of our woven wool tents I get approached by long haired white hippy men all the time. Who are running away from their culture. They think that because they like like Indian food & ‘Middle Eastern’ food & whatever else these Orientalists are into – that therefore I am somehow REPRESENTATIVE of THEM running away from THEIR Wonderbread American sterile subdivision culture. What have I to do w/ that?

        What would I get from this exchange?

        But then my own brothers are obsessed w/ the palest girls POSSIBLE. LOL! I used to wait tables in Arab restaurants in NYC & these brothers would come in w/ these paper white girls. Always.

        There are just so many ramifications from fairytale productions like you’ve described. I would like to be asked what books I’m reading or complimented on my skills etc. than these Euro-Americans coming up to me w/ a creepy breathy tone of voice & telling me I look “exotic”. Which means ‘strange’ & ‘foreign’. And people get angry if you politely point out what the word means. “It means ‘beautiful’. It’s a compliment!” LOL. No it doesn’t. Open a thesaurus.

        I am so angry about those crazy people dressing up as ‘indians’ in Scandinavia or wherever. I saw something in Poland.

        Another thing is only the people who look like gods & godesses have value to these people. LOL. Where is the Native guy who is losing his hair & overweight in their weird othering fantasy world.

        You have THAT & we have people dressing up in completely FAKE oriental costume (belly dance costumes) & TELLING people who are NOT US that they have something to do w/ US.

        LOL. Thanks for letting me rant. How can you tolerate that?

        I watched an old documentary about Annie Mae today off youtube. It had all the principle characters. It was so surreal to watch. Now that the truth has come out. It was difficult to tell who was lying & who was simply a victim of self-delusion.

        Spent much of the day online writing about Palestine and/or 9/11. So exhausted now. If I were food I’d have to be eaten w/ a spoon vs knife. xxx

      • Important correction: The question mark in parentheses – after the words about my grandmother’s sister having been murdered by the Nazi’s for having a disability – was meant to go after the part about her brother in law possibly/probably having been murdered. I am typing on a phone & I inserted that afterward but in the wrong line. She was absolutely murdered by the staff. I am not positive about my grandmother’s brother in law – although there are a lot of clues that look like he was. If you can – please just edit that out. This: (?) It’s a dishonour to her as they DID kill her.

        And yes you are right Hitler based the concentration camps & whole concept on US reservations/genocide of your indigenous people. I think it’s in Mein Kampf. I’m not sure. I’ll look it up for you when I gel back into a solid from the liquid state I’m in now. I’m exhausted & I partially blame the rezinat(or) for putting so much on my plate these last few days. Including three old (lying) documentaries on AIM I felt compelled to watch…

      • Sorry I’m just getting to these now. What do you mean the perpetrator was Crow Dog’s father? You’re still referring to the murder of Annie Mae (& Ray Robinson etc.)? Or are you referring to the whole Zeitgeist (spirit of the time) in the 60s when a lot of people from the cities came back to learn about their grandparents/great grand parents traditional ways?

        What is your view of that book American Indian Mafia? It is written by an FBI agent & endorsed by Oliver North & self-published. How unbiased can it be? I wouldn’t trust it.

      • Crow Dogs father or grandfather killed a man over a woman
        and that lead to the federal government removing from that
        point on the ability of the nations to try cases of murder
        in our courts.
        I’ll look up the law, it was a hundred years or so ago when
        that murder was committed.
        I’ve read Mafia and believe there is a substantial amount
        of information within the pages that can be verified.
        I’ve had a few exchanges with the author John Trimbach
        related to Dave Hill – it’s more than obvious Hill rolled
        over after being busted for Mt. Rushmore – the charges for
        what amounted to an act of domestic terrorism were dropped.
        Hill had sent word to his AIM associates that they either
        get him out or he would start talking.
        Thelma Rios, a woman convicted related to Annie’s murder
        lived with Hill for a number of years and had a son by him,
        she said Hill “was a cop” meaning informant.
        After the feds dropped the charges he was immediately arrested
        on a states weapon charge – those were dropped by the state at
        the behest of the feds and they said so – if that doesn’t add
        up to being an informant nothing ever will.
        The author said over lunch with a federal agent by the name of
        Zigrossi when asked he said Hill gave them nothing, then went on
        to say the feds never give up an informant while they are alive.
        The author said they believed Zigrossi and that started the ball
        rolling as I don’t and pointed several reasons why nobody should.
        But I also take into consider that Joseph Trimbach was a SAC at
        the onset of WK2 and has a vested interest in presenting a favorable
        take on events.

      • “Crow Dogs’s father or grandfather killed a man over a woman…”

        I understand now. The ability to have your own sovereign justice was forcibly altered by the US govt after that. (Or by – as my Black AA friend calls the police & justice system – ‘The slavecatchers’). Also because I went back & reread your original telling of that (in thread). This made me realise I should be more humble about my reading skills! I reread some things and thought ‘Alright now I see what he meant there.’ I don’t know if it means I have slight dyslexia or the whole Saga you are referring to takes awhile for an outsider to grasp.

        For example: Who is Bill Means again? (That name! Names form us. They’re beyond important. He probably had that name from childhood). You said he was friends w/ Charles Abourezk & took the phonecall to kill Annie Mae at Charles’ place.

        Has anyone done anything to confront James Abourezk & his family & the ADC w/ this. The ADC now does civil rights law suits on behalf of anyone – not only Arabs. (I think because of pro-bono lawyers getting state and/or federal funding?). So this is really bizarre. I am probably going to write both his law office & the ADC about this. Since I used to be an ADC member. Once I get my head round who did what where to whom with whom why.

        Please forgive my earlier responses to your words flying past my head earlier. I didn’t even hear the swiiiiiiiishhhhhh! sound as your words flew past.

      • Bill Means is Russell Means brother, among those at Bill’s house when
        the call came to kill Annie were Clyde Bellecourt, Charles Abourezk,
        Bill Means of course, and among the cast of lesser players Dave Hill
        has been said to have been present.
        There’s a lot to “grasp” and it requires plowing through decades of
        lies and misinformation, but for those willing to devote the time,
        follow the money as they say and ask the question who benefits by
        lying it all begins to unravel.
        Inevitably the principles are hoisted on their own pitard by their
        own words and variations of the moment like Carter Camp who must
        have told a dozen different versions related to Ray Robinson and
        what became of him to Peltier who has to be a defense attorney’s
        worse nightmare for his inability to keep his mouth shut and if not
        then stick to his story.
        Some time back I posted the contents of email exchanges between
        various volunteers and an attorney from LPODC, exchanges between
        them, not me – the contents were revealing as they spoke of Peltier
        as a delusional “loudmouth” who had come to believe the myth.
        An attorney involved in those conversations left LPDOC and has
        become an advocate for Annie.
        Another attorney whose was touted as buffalo bravado guy sure to
        gain Peltier’s release publicly stated that the Mr.X story was a lie,
        he was shown the door shortly thereafter and something of a “reorganizational”
        purge at LPDOC began.
        These were insiders,part of the inner sanctum, and that speaks
        At one point his cousin Bob Robideau penned a letter to LPDOC members
        saying he was through with it all and resigning his position at LPDOC.
        He then moved to Spain and passed away a few years later – had multiple
        contacts with Annie’s daughter Denise and apparently offered some insights
        along the way.
        I think the elder Abourezk has done some good things for his people and
        deserves credit for that, but the association with AIM leadership raises
        too many questions.
        There’s a photo of JA posing with Means, Bank$, and Bellecourt from 2012
        I believe following a “conference” where AIM got shredded, chapter and
        versed, that I was going to try to attach to this comment – I’ve used it in
        another blog and if I can plow through the roughly two thousand blogs and
        find it I’ll reblog.
        The photo shows the four of them as though the the 4 musketeers – Clyde
        a convicted drug dealer busted as a major dealer that included selling out
        of a school, Bank$ with his ties to Annie’s murder, and Means the stone cold
        liar, fraud, and at least by association the murder of Annie – never seemed
        like the sort of photo op or company a Senator would involve himself with.

      • I have written a lot (my apologies for time taken from loved ones and work etc. if that happens) so not sure if you missed it. But in answer to what you just wrote me about JA (lawyer/senator) in a photo w/ his NA friends whose sociopathy you described; I wrote you about my own grandfather being murdered by “Lebanese mafia” for not paying “protection money” (quotes are from my German immigrant mum who was unfamiliar w/ organised crime as is our Lebanese family – hence my grandfather’s murder). This was framed by the police as a suicide. But as I wrote there were two gunshots to the brain. It’s not that one missed. And he’d been being harassed for protection money.

        I forgot the name for the word I want; but I read/am sent a Lebanese blog of somebody (a young physician) who writes about Lebanon inc. a lot of criticism & he often writes about the corruption & paying off that occurs for some people to be favoured over others & he always uses a Lebanese word for this; even though the rest of the blog is in English.

        My dad left that town. We grew up in the music industry. Despite eating raw meat & being raised w/ a lot of Arabic music & traditional dance etc. He had a foot in both worlds. Our family name after the long string of patrinomical (sp?) names (daughter of > son of > son of) means Priest. That means we were from an educated literate family of priests. (Our priests marry to this day hence have children. Which surprises other latecomers to Christianity…). So we weren’t familiar w/ those type of people. “mafia” etc.

        Unfortunately my grandfather encountered them here.

        My guess is then that J.Abourezk WAS familiar w/ those kind of Lebanese & Syrian people & so either he didn’t recognise it as abhorrent behaviour when he also encountered it in these NA; or he did recognise it as horrible & illegal & was FINE w/ that because of the similarity to his own background (?).

        Because honestly if you are an Arab looking at indigenous people here it’s like looking in a mirror. On the one hand there is the quiet grace of some of our elders & the way so many of us write poetry & the patient listening style – giving the floor without rushing or silencing & even things we were joking about like raw meat… sleeping on the ground traditionally… houses of hair vs houses of skin… the list goes on. But I see all the bad traits also inc. the bad traits of honour culture where people want revenge. I don’t want to tell it all here. But for example on my mom’s German side they just let everything go straight away. My dad would remember everything forever. As I said I don’t like to write these things in public; because everyone thinks they know us & they don’t & are always trying to say how evil we are. So I really don’t like to criticise my Arab brothers. Why should I hand ammo to my enemies to shoot at us. But in honesty from what you have been telling me James Abourezk may be perfectly used to this really unpretty side of a tiny segment of your people known as AIM; simply because they are EXACTLY like a tiny segment of OUR people.

        Not to sound funny about it but right now I feel like ‘Alright! That’s it!’ & so I am going to write both James Abourezk explaining that I am half-Lebanese family here since the 1890s/1910s former member of the ADC human rights advocate for Arab Americans Lebanese Palestinians & other broken winged birds & asking what he has to say for himself. Send me whatever you can; because honestly most of what I found online was a lot of cursing rants on blogs that I needed an organisational chart to understand.

        I am VERY wary of that American Indian Mafia book by the FBI guy because as a Palestinian supporter I had my phone tapped & received interrogating phonecalls after ringing some pro-Pali human rights orgs in the early 90s. Before the wiretapping of Arab American New Yorkers in the 2000s was admitted to by the NYPD. (I can describe what happened in a bit more detail someday if you are interested. Lol. One person posed as AT&T. Then I rang AT&T. Guess who were not who they said they were. It was like Boris & Natasha from the Rocky & Bullwinkle show).

        The FBI showed up at my mum’s door when she came here as a Red Cross sponsored refugee DP (displaced person).

        I am not an angry paranoid person. I love what the FBI does for missing & kidnapped & exploited children. I love that they put out a reward for any info on the murderers of Alex Odeh – our Palestinian American poet who was the head of an ADC chapter in Cali & was killed by a bomb rigged to the door there when he opened it. But as an Arab American they are not exactly my best friend.

        If you think that’s a good book to read I will. Are there any others? I don’t want to write James Abourezks office & sound like a paranoid ranting lunatic. Please send me a list of books about this that you think are accurate.

        ‘The only difference between a madman & myself – is I am not mad’ – Salvador Dali (& that may be a paraphrase. I have to look that up again)

      • I’d have to say if a person committed suicide by
        shooting themself in the head after the first bullet
        they wouldn’t need or be able to fire off another round.
        I would recommend reading Mafia with an internet
        connection close at hand so if questions arise or
        you want to verify something you can.
        There’s a lot of books I would recommend but will
        give it some thought to pare it down and post
        In reading earlier ones it’s important to take
        into account what became known later on as time
        passed – it’s also important as I said earlier to
        follow the money and ask who profits from the lie,
        and take note of how many times the story changes,
        how many variations.
        Part of the subterfuge authored by AIM was that
        the feds killed her, they attempted to validate
        that by an agent named Price who had told her if
        she didn’t inform she would be dead within a year.
        My take on that is they knew Annie was endangered
        and AIM could kill her – I’ve also likened that
        to my telling an alcoholic friend I was visiting
        in the hospital that if he didn’t get his act
        together the next time I saw he would be dead.
        That wasn’t a personal threat on my behalf but
        where he was heading.
        There’s an author who wrote a book related to
        Annie’s murder that has been a staunch defender
        of AIM that weighed in on a blog a couple of years
        ago stating that she was in court and Price admitted
        the “threat”, which he did not, and the transcripts
        prove he didn’t.
        When I pressed this author they said “it felt like
        he did”.
        AIM and Peltier defenders often advance something
        based on “feelings” rather than fact, so that’s
        something to be aware of as you read or watch related
        There are obvious issues involving law enforcement
        in all agencies whether local, state, or federal,
        and they seem to be getting worse, but I’m willing
        to assume there are good cops and in fact have known
        a couple – paramount in law enforcement should be
        transparency and accountability rather than becoming
        a para military brotherhood.
        But indications seem to be they will become even more
        It’s been demonstrated countless times that cops and
        prosecutors will lie and withhold evidence- when caught
        doing so they should go to jail.
        If they abuse their authority they should be fired and
        charged if this indeed “a nation of laws” where none are
        above it.
        There’s a difference between paranoid and being aware, a
        difference that confuses some people.
        I haven’t missed anything by replying you comments, I work
        some long hours at times during the day and have other
        responsibilities so I’m not always able to answer in a timely
        I pound nails for a living and not always ready to call it day
        until I’ve reached a certain point on a job – today for instance
        I was crawling around under a house addressing some electrical
        and plumbing issues, had a goal in mind and wouldn’t stop until
        I reached it, by the time I got home I must have looked like swamp

      • & I had to learn to make nails as a goldsmith.

        Or as we call them rivets. And of course a rivet is different because you put it through the pierced metal etc. as a wire or rod & afterward you hammer form the head.

        Your river post has now become a rivet thread.

        I have so many hammers (hence ‘-smith’). I *love* my hammers (*stars* in eyes like a child). Inc. a ballpein from my German grandfather. He was a tool&die maker.

        I have to polish them. And some other tools w/ rust. Do you coat your carbon steel tools to keep them from rusting? I use beeswax baby balm. I used to use petrolatum (petroleum jelly) but why ravage the earth for no reason. Bad enough it’s done for more important reasons.

        A thousand times in agreement to everything else you wrote aside from the horror movie reference at end.

        Thanks for taking the time to try to explain everything & for the offer of books. Don’t ever worry about answering.

      • I use a light coating of bee’s wax – easy to come by with grandfather’s
        relationship with bees. You can remove rust with a solution of water,
        vinegar, and baking soda followed up by some kind of oil after drying
        with a towel or rag.

      • Are you melting the beeswax & painting it on? Otherwise it is too stiff. That’s why I use the beeswax balm (half olive etc. oil heated w/ beeswax then left to set & harden).

        Thanks for the rust removal recipe. I’ll try it. I use lemon juice & salt; which is obviously similar. Something acid (vinegar/lemon juice) + something alkaline (bicarbonate of soda/salt). I wonder if those things together just *confuse* the rust until it gives up the fight. Lol.

      • I don’t melt it per se just leave it where it won’t be rock hard
        and then apply it – once a saw blade makes contact it with a
        piece of wood it heats up.
        I use beeswax grandfather collects so it hasn’t been compressed,
        molded in a shape, and the packaged.

      • We buy it in the comb to chew on in New England. Though I haven’t seen it in a few years – now that I think of it. Is that not done everywhere? The honey tastes so great from the comb. It comes in boxes. (I know you’ve got that from your Opa without the box).

      • Forgiveness is predicated upon a couple of things in my opinion.
        One by the offender acknowledging the offense(s), accepting responsibility, and an assurance it won’t happen again – neither of which AIM has ever done.
        The other being some sort of outward manifestation of regret and intent – as in making some effort to address the losses incurred and the destruction they committed at WK2.
        Not so much as penny from AIM has gone into reconstruction, no effort made to assist those who lost everything.
        So when they begin talking about forgiveness regardless of how they couch it it’s done so in the context of getting off the hook they find themselves on and they can talk to the hand as far as I’m concerned.
        I think the arrival of the vets at SR turned a corner, a disorganized camp lacking even the basics became a community – I appreciate their efforts and have said so repeatedly in the blog and haven’t a single issue with the forgiveness.
        What I do have an issue with is the way it was conducted – Crow Dog sat in a chair like the pope droning on with some vets actually kneeling in front of him.
        Crow Dog cannot act as an emissary of forgiveness in view of all he has done without first seeking forgiveness.
        Nothing Clyde Bellecourt has to say interests me in the slightest, if I was standing next to him at a traffic light and he said it had turned green I’d double or triple check before crossing the street.
        AIM has attempted to co opt SR just they did Idle No More and anything other event they thought they could garner some attention from or make a buck.
        Look up Vern Traversie and a fund raiser and protest held for him, the manner in which people like Bank$ charged a fee to put in an appearance and then moved to make it all about AIM and Peltier.
        A fee to advocate for a blind elder who had just undergone major heart surgery, and in all likelihood wound up with little or nothing of the donations.

      • Re. “forgiveness ceremony” (response to your last comment – as this is getting labyrinthian).

        Well they were not *asking* forgiveness. They were *bestowing* forgiveness to the US military members there.

        I wanted to write hypocritical but forgot how to spell it earlier.

        I thought exactly the same thing as you when I watched the video (on my phone – no computer & no TV). Crow Dog sitting holding court like that. I am right behind you except I would add that even the popes stand up on equal level w/ people & bless the babies they are holding etc. So this would be like the the Pope centuries ago vs today.

        It’s like what I described to you in Woodstock. Pretty sure it was him – because my boyfriend (Apache musician eleven years older than me) ran into this couple he knew. Not an introduction w/ names as I recall. They said ‘Hi’ and then both stared into my eyes for a few moments. (? A bit strange… silence… then I walked away to the bathroom & left them talking. When I came out they were gone. The staring? Trying to sort out if I was Indian? My dad looks very Asian like a Mongol. How Bedouin used to look until more recently. From my German mum I have very Eurasian Nordic features also. Deep set almond shaped eyes & high bridge nose. Amber coloured – sometimes greyish! – skin. Maybe they were trying to sort out who I was?). Anyway my friend explained to me he & they had just come off The Longest Walk. Honestly I was seventeen & as an Arab had enough on my plate learning about my own people at that age. So he didn’t tell their names & I didn’t ask. Then I saw this same person – minus his wife – holding court on the town Green. Day after day after day. Surrounded by pale Euro-Americans. (I’ve decided to stop describing people by colours/races since they are 18th c. constructs used for political purposes & oppression). I avoided them. He was sitting on the Green surrounded by others. Seemingly in silence! That woman Roxanne was there – always. Later she started Burt’s Bee’s beeswax cosmetics co. & became a billionaire but apparently avoided donating millions to the Lakota. (Not something easy to keep secret – if they received millions).

        Fast forward to whenever Mary Crow Dog’s first book ‘Lakota Woman’ was released. (1989?). I was in NYC & bought it in a bookshop. (Whenever the paperback was released). Not knowing I’d met her. Read that & she mentioned that after he was released – w/ the help of some writers & artists from my hometown – they both went up to Woodstock & then she left. So I realised they were the couple my boyfriend knew. And when I’d gone to writer Ed Sammis’ house who my friend rented a room from (old beach house no heat so frozen pipes etc.); I’d asked why there was a stuffed crow & dog on the side of the fireplace by the door & was told it was from a welcome party for Crow Dog after they’d worked to get him released. And I remembered that the writer father of my brother’s girlfriend (Cree but adopted) had been part of that group also. As had a classmate/girlfriend’s potter mother. When I read Mary Crow Dog’s book about ten years afterward she mentioned all those people I knew well & I put it all together.

        So I was on the periphery of that – a kid still – and didn’t pay attention to names or ask for them. Later on when I read her book it mentioned people I knew & mentioned being in Woodstock then. And as I told you – anyway I was just there to attend the Art Student’s League summer school. And I met this interesting person: shoulder length curly black hair (which we call Bedouin hair – like in old Cat Stevens or Springsteen photos) & three piece suits w/ white shirts; which I jokingly call undertaker clothes & riding a ten speed racing bike. And we met & took a walk in a pine forest & became a couple briefly. Not a clue he was Apache till days later. So obviously – he was much younger than those AIM people he knew & I was much younger than him – neither of us were into that weird adoration scene of being surrounded by Euro-Americans that Crow Dog was. (Whose name I did not know then).

        As I said in this thread; as an Arab I am really put off by that kind of romanticising/fantasising etc. of indigenous people. The worst that can happen w/ that othering of us is it can lead to our death. Because if we’re never seen/described as the girl/boy next door in the US then it’s easier to not care when we are killed. Which we are too often. As happened w/ the Orthodox Christian Lebanese man shot to death by his neighbour recently. Prior to his murder the killer neighbour deliberately ran over this young man’s (age 30s) mother breaking her bones & nearly killing her. And yet the police (slave catchers) released the Frankenneighbour & he then bought a gun & when the Lebanese American family rang the police again saying he now had a gun & was threatening them the police did nothing. Until they came to pick up this brother’s body. Anybody can hear the 911 call of the man’s elderly disabled father saying his son is being shot on their porch. If any Americans care. Which they don’t.

        And also when people appropriate us: wear black kohol round their eyes & braid their hair in tiny braids & paint their hands in designs w/ henne & wear our heavy silver antique jewellery etc.; it’s not a compliment to me. And the reason is because w/ my face & skin when I was pulled crying out of public pools as a young child/not allowed to swim & frisked in shops as a young child & mocked by blond police as a child for my looks (‘Are you a girl or a boy!’) & colour… or chased off the street in NYC when I was an educated master goldsmith working in the fashion industry; chased off by a cop w/ a billy club for simply walking… when pale Euro-heritage people were window shopping & sitting at outdoor cafes all around me… I can’t take OFF my skin or my Asiatic features like those appropriating me can.

        And that’s why I could not understand Crow Dog holding court there. Wanting to be adored in a completely false fantasising way; rather than being made uncomfortable by it.

        I have said enough here. I think anyone reading who cannot understand these issues is really lacking in empathy.

      • I’m not sure why that Bill Means interview link I just sent didn’t work. If you search/type in the name of the article it should come up.

  8. Re. AIM what you were talking about. I’m going to watch some documentaries on them now. (If I can find them online for free & watch them on my phone now – since I’m a pauper). I want to try to get my head round the lying & glossing over. Russell Means was so pro-Palestinian that he’s like a hero w/ my people. As I said my friend interviewed him. This is a sea change in my thinking.

    It is weird how alike we are. (We meaning our two peoples). Palestinians get really paranoid & kill each other also. And then also we don’t want to talk about it because it’s like handing all the people more ammo to hate us with. The same with things like honour killing. I was in my thirties before I ever heard of that – it was so not talked about. It’s so hard to criticise brothers.

    The other thing – looking back – that was disturbing; is I was only 17 (almost 18) seeing this 29 yr old friend of theirs & those people thought that was perfectly fine. There’s the same mix of matriarchy & patriarchy in our two cultures. Obviously at the time I thought it was fine – but now I look back & it’s angering that people were fine w/ their 29 year old friend having an 18 yr old girlfriend.

    I used to think sort of tribally. Now I think there are simply evil people – people who have aligned themselves w/ Evil (as my indigenous Latin American friend said ‘It’s like lightening’) or Good.

    What is the point of *fighting* for everything we love – only to lose our intrinsic beliefs & bring shame upon ourselves.

    It’s almost beyond belief that someone like Ray Robinson – who was trained in non-violent resistance – came there to help & was shot to death. And on top of that called the N-word by someone – at least afterward. It reminds me of various Arab people beheading journalists. Who came to help them. Or human rights workers killed as well.

    And then it’s really really difficult to even write that because we take so much dross from people. I spend so much time defending my brothers. It’s feels Sysiphian.

    • Means was a friend to anyone, any people, or any government
      he could hustle a buck from, from the Unification “church”
      of Sun Myung Moon to the owner editor of Hustler magazine.
      For a further insight into the fraud Means was do a search on
      Means and his Chinle defense where he kicked sovereignty and
      the right of our nations to adjudicate crimes committed on the
      rez to the curb.
      The offense he was busted for on Dineh land ? He attacked his
      then one armed eighty year old father in law.
      Its difficult to fault members of your own people at times, but
      if your heart lies with their common welfare little is left than
      to speak the truth and call things what they are.
      That to me is the essence of tradition – the common welfare, not that
      of a select few, not the consent of silence. I see it as an attempt
      to build a future for our children, right wrongs, and ease the discomfort
      and inequities that exist in the day to day.
      The murder of Ray Robinson speaks to my belief of deals made, a laughable
      “investigation” that ran for decades only to have former USAG Holder announce
      AIM killed Ray but the DOJ wasn’t going to pursue such an old case.
      The game is the attrition of time, stall long enough for the leadership and
      accomplices to pass on and then there’s nothing to be done – case closed.

      • I’m experiencing that now since late 2009. My civil rights have been violated but I can’t afford a private lawyer & the public agencies that should help me protect my equal rights have a six month or one year evidence window. But it’s an ongoing problem re. my being a whistleblower for illegal violations in my building & the millionaire (billionaire?) landlord having his manager terrorise me & the police refusing to protect me & town & state & federal protection agencies either ignoring me because they don’t want to battle their colleagues or they are on the take.

        I reported one person for abusive completely *bizarre* behaviour & I was ignored. Go get a drum for this part: She then went on to steal 30k from the town. She wrote herself two checks for 15,000 dollars. I had TOLD them she was a madwoman. After she was supposed to have a meeting w/ me & missed it. Then rather than own up to her irresponsibility she lied about me & said she missed the meeting (drum please) because I had “wild hair” & I had “threatened” her. Firstly my long brown hair is just slightly wavy. Lol. Not even. I have like three textures on my hair – but it is mostly just thick & straight. The “threat” was I calmly said it looks like I may have to get a lawyer. But because I’m a brown woman w/ just a goldsmithing certificate no university degree etc. (have no money) they think they can say anything. Dishonour me by saying I would threaten someone. So I calmly reported her having done/said that & they (the town & state) ignored me. Then she stole 30k from them!

        The thing that drives me crazy about these people (& she was Mexican American btw – the others pale as wheat) is they have ZERO concept of people like myself that have honour culture. I am NEVER going to give up. I was refused police protection when the super was terrorising me for six months. I keep reporting it & I know they are just waiting till the statute of limitations is up.

        Public defenders said they could not take my case because it is too complex/there are too many people involved/they only take simple cases.

        And I KNOW I am facing dog-whistle racism. On three seperate occasions the police treated me as if I was a criminal – when I rang them for being harassed & not even by someone I’m in a relationship with/know. The palest cop I have ever seen in my life accused me of writing an abusive note to myself. They treat me like I’m some crackhead prostitute. When I’m a master goldsmith who grew up in the music industry w/ a horse etc.! I still remember I was wearing riding boots & a knee length skirt & long sleeves when he accused me of writing this abusive note (from super) to myself.

        All they see is colour. And I have a very ancient sort of Eurasian face.

        Sorry for the novel. Thanks for reading. Your comment about them just waiting until it is too late to prosecute set me off.

        I basically have ZERO human rights. The super was a lunatic. I thought he might murder me. Simply for my having to report building violations to the fire dept & health dept (who fines them & a judge threatened the landlord w/ arrest after the health dept took action).

        And these Euro-American neighbours I have benefit from my reporting locked fire doors etc. but then say & do ZERO when I get terrorised for it. It’s astonishing! It is so weird for me as an Arab. We get together as girls & women just to comb each others hair etc. But my neighbours just allow me to be terrorised & traumatised. Even when I help them get horrific things fixed in their own apartment.

        It’s really weird. I can’t get my heads round them.

      • I’m of the opinion in some form or another people live in a
        perpetual state of civil rights violations, some obviously
        more egregious than others – the buffer of course being
        wealth, influence, and access.
        The lower down the socio economic ladder the greater the
        experience – the poor may always be among us as has been said
        but the only inheritance of meekness thus far seems to consist of
        abuse, a falling through the cracks, manipulation, and exploitation.
        The number within these ranks is steadily increasing and why I
        have often said in the abject failure of an establishment two party
        system what is need is a viable third or even fourth party – a poor
        people’s party whose numbers and agenda would be singularly focused
        on inequities and the prevailing disenfranchisement.
        Such a party would face a steep uphill climb as elections are in the
        main all about money to fuel the campaign engine and in the process
        own the candidate – the Kochs and Gates and Soros of the world would
        feel imperiled and do everything to undermine such a party.
        But a model has been provided in Sander’s campaign fueled not by pacs
        and monied interests but by individual donations that averaged $27 per.
        The “machine” has become self aware and it’s priority is a self perpetuating
        act of preservation – little if anything is off the table and should some
        obstacle occur or a situation arises that isn’t viewed as being quite
        cricket then release a tsunami of rhetorical misdirection or introduce new
        There isn’t really a lot that has changed in the political arena between
        now and a hundred years ago, what has changed is while it’s business as
        usual it’s more open, more transparent, more visible due to attitudes and
        vehicles like the media and internet.
        A transparency that seems to have had the opposites effect of what it should
        with a weary misguided “patriotic” acceptance.
        Language that should be a knife cutting through the layers of deceit, conflation,
        and rhetorical device has become an instrument to pare and divide as we are
        told gristle is actually a prime cut,
        that “pink slime” is nutritious.
        It’s not about viable candidates it’s about the lesser evil as amputations
        sans anesthesia are performed on the public well being – if there is a choice
        it is restricted to which limb do you the voter chose to have amputated – but
        not to worry, if a leg or an arm they come in pairs so you’ll still retain one.
        An eye has been plucked away, vision obscured, and a clear and present danger
        exists the other either will be as well or voluntarily offered on the altar
        of make America great.
        Humanity as it exists on the individual level is valued only by contribution.
        Is the individual a member of a significant voting, campaign contributions bloc
        or have value as cheap labor? How and when can they be exploited?
        What do they contribute to the coffers of corporations and the wealthy?
        Are they susceptible to manipulation, gullible to the extent required, and
        if not what to do with them?
        The solution has always been to create gulags and human warehousing, to
        create caste systems and division – gulags and warehouses that afford a
        photo op for the candidate who portrays him or herself as the knight in
        shining armor at election time riding to the rescue.
        Billions flow in and out of campaign headquarters, that alone tells the
        tale – “free elections”? not by any stretch of the imagination and it all
        flows downhill from an increasingly weaponized law enforcement to a blatant
        disregard for the basic tenets of a just and humane “civilization”.
        A homeless man steals a loaf of bread for his family and goes to jail, the
        ripple effect of his “crime” small -a one percenter or corporate entity
        commits crimes that literally impact millions and an agreement is entered
        into where a fine is paid with no admission of guilt.
        “Law and order” is decidedly Kafkaesgue under the “new legal regime” Obama
        spoke of and touted setting the wheels in motion for prolonged indefinite
        legal detention without appearing in court, being charged, or having the
        right of due process and ability to confront your accuser, all one time
        bedrocks of democracy having become obstacles.
        So what if fracking causes earthquakes and water that ignites, it’s about
        “bidnez” – so what if pipelines crisscross the country to export the dirtiest
        fuels possible that do nothing in the way of “energy independence” for this
        country, it’s about “bidnez” and a way to facilitate the millionaire/billionaire
        game of who has the most and to hell with the environment or anyone else we’re
        making America great.
        The Constitution and Bill of Rights are “living documents” in constant need
        of update to insure the prevailing corporatocracy, all else is of secondary
        importance – documents left in the hands of minions and fools to pick apart.
        I’ll be dropping the mic again after this rant of mine but will pick it up again
        later in the day.

  9. My friend w/ the Blackfoot grandfather. Miss him. I thought you would like this. I’ll answer you tomorrow. Answered you twice & my phone lost the signal & lost everything. Now I’m exhausted & need some sleep. There’s so much to say about my grandfather’s murder (?) at the hands of those type of people & James Abourezk & Christianity (anger at) in response to you. I’m going to get some sleep after listening to this (at link below).If it doesn’t work for you copy out the URL without the m for mobile. Or look on you tube for the 1974 Richie Havens concert (about 35/40 mins). Or if you just search his name & youtube it’s in the que straight away. There’s a very long silence at the beginning of this as it was made when Richie passed. If you’re patient the concert will start after that. Or use the time as it’s meant xxx


    • Fan of Havens but think the best he did was Freedom, the original Woodstock
      version not the later one.
      Have net problems here as well at times, Gates is proposing a usage model of
      of a dollar an hour – under Trump net neutrality will probably go out the
      window and rates will increase.

  10. I’ve just read your ‘It felt like it’ post. I didn’t feel like leaving a comment there. I’m staying in the ‘Healing’ post thread.

    So she still believes the FBI killed Annie Mae when the killers confessed? What is her & like minded people’s explanation for that?

    It makes so much more sense that the FBI man would say something like ‘Look if you stay w/ those people you’ll be dead’ in a more paternal way (even if slightly coercive in trying to influence). Especially given what they were capable of; rape & murder. Hypothetically if they were involved in killings (JFK conspiracy theory springs to mind) would they announce it to the person first? Your hospital/friend analogy is perfect. Btw I hope your friend got better xx

    • PS: I just looked her up (A.Claypoole). I did not know who she is & read her bio now. I see she is another one of those hippy groupie fantasists. These people are parasitic & poisonous to traditional indigenous cultures everywhere.

      We have them too.

      I run from them.

      • I received a comment from Claypoole not long ago and about two years after
        our exchanges, one conciliatory in nature that I respect for the willingness
        to do so – as I said during the blogs of those times I have nothing against
        her personally – we have differing opinions and that’s basically the gist of

    • My friend has gotten better, gave up drinking, became the father,
      husband, and provider he should be and has actually thanked me
      for speaking the things I did when visiting him the hospital.
      Grandmother oversaw his recovery both spiritually and physically,
      he jokes about it now saying as gentle a person as she is she
      was tough and made no bones about it.

  11. Your fan on your ‘Snitches… redux’ post is “anti-islamization” & describes herself as a “pagan” into “nature” who will attack anyone who criticises “Israel” … & also an aspiring “fantasy writer” etc.

    Some observations from me as I’m forced to walk a razor’s edge:

    a) I have noticed that some people who are into “fantasy” attempt to co-opt/appropriate your culture

    b) I have noticed a lot of Americans who loathe other people of colour adore/fetishise Native people. (For example in this person’s CV – or w/ the use of the anti-Black confederate term “rebel”)

    c) I have noticed that a lot of Americans who loathe Muslims (“Islamization”) & hence love “Israel” adore/fetishise Native people

    It’s freaking me out a little bit. Your fan base here.

    • And if someone should comment who says you are anti american
      or something similar what should I do?
      I tend to doubt there are anymore than a handful whose personal beliefs are of the same traditional beliefs as mine – should they be excluded?
      I don’t agree with the consumption of alcohol, should I ban from the blog all who do? What I have said is I don’t care if people drink, what I do care about is if they are drinking and get stupid.
      Pagans? I’ve heard that word same directed at the nations along with savages, primitives, and on and on.
      So what is a pagan? By definition it is a term employed by Christians, Jews, and Muslims to define those who don’t believe as they do.
      If that were to be the singular metric then the nations are pagans.
      I don’t agree with several tenets from multiple religions, the “original sin” of Christianity is one – I don’t agree with calling people who have a different belief “infidels” or the concept of sharia law, nor do I believe the Torah is the ultimate authority.
      So by definition adherents of these belief systems could call me a pagan or infidel – doesn’t make it so in my mind though, yet I no more apply a one size fits all to any from these demographics than I apply an all encompassing “white guilt”.
      And the metric has always been the same one I apply to the consumption of alcohol, their choice as long as they don’t get stupid in the presence of me or mine.
      The word pagan comes from the latin paganus which works out to something like a person who dwells in the country – well the nations have always dwelled in the country and held animistic beliefs, and our beliefs are outside those of mainstream religious beliefs though I don’t think of us as pagans.
      I don’t agree with Wiccans or Druids on several issues, yet I know Wiccans who I think of as good decent people just as I do Jews, Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Sikhs, etc etc.
      I know a couple of dyed in the wool atheists who I also believe are good people – I know new agers I can share a cup of coffee with and have a good conversation though I certainly don’t believe as they do.
      I’ve read the bible, the koran, vedic teachings and more, and having done so can point out areas of agreement and disagreement.
      There were those who attempted to give me some grief because a retired fbi agent who ran an anti Peltier site would comment on the blog – most notably “silent bear”, yet this agent always conducted himself in an intelligent and courteous way when commenting and that was what mattered inspite of the fact I don’t agree with everything the feds do or have done.
      I tend to view the blog as an extension of my house, if the intent of anyone is to co opt it for their personal agenda I’ll react to that the same way I would if someone attempted to force their way into my real world house – I believe sb and a couple of others can attest to that.
      I never begin looking for personal information on a person when they comment – it’s about what they have to say, if they’re a racist or any of that they’ll reveal themselves and I’ll take it from there.
      I think it a little short sighted to focus on a single individual from my
      “fan base” and not consider others or the positions I’ve taken throughout this blog which I feel as though I have made abundantly clear.
      For reasons known or unknown to me I believe the individual you reference rescinded their fan club membership – either way it isn’t something I’ll dwell on.
      Had this individual raised issues I don’t agree with I would have addressed them – as they didn’t I didn’t.
      I have a friend is who is an aspiring author in the sci fi field who at times has sent me copies of something he’s written to “proof read” and offer an opinion – I would say sci fi is fantasy – now if his genre of choice was porn I’d telling him I’m not interested, but it isn’t and I oblige though I doubt my qualifications to be a proof reader and have said as much.

      • Firstly: Happy-one-week-of-cultural-exchange today – the lovely Rezinate.

        Secondly: I’m not sure – as you could be angry at me for some very good reason that I don’t know yet – but I think that you may have misunderstood me.

        I didn’t say you should police your blog for me. I just said I am noticing a type of person – not just on your blog – attracted to Native *everything* (flag waving anti-immigrant anti-muslim etc.). And I have only just *now* been noticing this. And it’s a bit of a shock; so I asked if you have been encountering this.

        I wasn’t the one calling her a “pagan”. Is that what you thought Rez? *She* described *herself* as a “pagan” & aspiring sci-fi fantasy writer & against “islamization” (which is racist code; inc. for the US not helping Syrian refugees now; probably half of whom are not practising Muslims anyway…).

        Rez I didn’t *search* her for the purpose of searching your commenters. Nor would I expect you to. I searched her website that *she* suggested you (& hence readers I thought) take a look at in the thread – which she said had something about greenhouses & fish (vs casinos). There I found this long CV bio about being against “islamization” (code for not caring that little Syrian babies are drowning in the sea… for hating people so not wanting to provide them shelter… etc.) & how people who criticise “Israel should” be attacked. (& that would be me).

        I was simply writing you about this.

        I wasn’t blaming you.

        I know who you are. We discussed animism. And our upbringing. And our view of Christianity. (I think evangelisation is cultural imperialism… I left that out earlier…). Pretty much in every single long exchange for a whole week now aside from those about AIM.

        I’m not attacking you. Neither am I anti-immigration for Syrian refugees; which is what people are against when they throw the word “islamization” at people. You’re confusing me. xxx

      • I’m not in the least bit angered, merely attempting
        to explain my approach to the blog and perhaps in an
        obscure way reference what I previously said about
        diversity and building bridges – analogies associated
        with paganism I feel were and are germane in the context
        of what is said in this blog.
        I’ve spoken in behalf of Syrian refugees in the blog, an
        advocacy that would include refugees from any war torn
        I have a friend who is from Palestine, and elderly man
        who owns a small convenience store manned by he and his
        sons, a man whose friendship I value, yet I am confident
        we hold differing opinions on various topics.
        If you’ve ever read A History of the World by H.G Welles
        I am in total agreement with the manner in which he breaks
        down the cost of wars etc and how the money could be
        better spent for hospitals, education, and the general
        I have a video link of former Mexican president Vincente
        Fox doing likewise with the associated cost of Trump’s wall
        that I’ll pull up and post.
        Fear mongering and war have become marketable commodities and
        I for one am long over both.
        One planet and nobodies going anywhere – a simple fact that
        behooves all of humanity to straighten out their act.

      • Shukran. Thank you so much for speaking up for Syrian refugees on your blog.

        My grandfather was a Syrian refugee escaping the Ottoman Occupation. (Lebanon was then part of Greater Syria). He came here after a Turkish Ottoman soldier/policeman shot his cousin in the head – killing him – in the cellar of their house in the mountains of South Lebanon.

  12. Rez I am only reading through the links you sent me – that were supposed to give me more background on the AIM murders etc. It is 5.30 am. I have to squeeze this in between reading Electronic Intifada etc.

    So I have made it to ‘Newly Discovered WK2 Archive Redux’ & in the thread is this Marlene Blackwinter again. See my previous comment to you.

    Please search her name & you’ll find the lengthy description of her Muslim hating self – who will by the way attack us if we criticise “Israel”.

    I have to speak out against things also.

    Is there some thread here that I am naively unaware of that I should be made aware of?

  13. Aside from the possibility of my friend doing an interview there is also Tiokasin Ghost Horse – the Cheyenne River Lakota flute player w/ First Voices Indigenous Radio.


    Since he interviews various people on various things; has he ever covered any of this to do w/ Annie Mae Pictou & Ray Robinson? Or is his position on AIM such that he wouldn’t do that?

    I’m aware of him because he played flute w/ the aforementioned musician friend.


    • I can’t say who all TGH has interviewed but I think it’s a good
      idea as you present if your friend would interview Denise, and
      I believe she would appreciate the opportunity though I cannot
      speak for her.
      I tend to believe those in the indigenous world who would speak
      to issues like Annie and Ray already have, either coming down on
      one side or the other or electing to remain silent.
      There’s been a crafted meme attached to these things, if you’re not
      onboard with AIM and the myth then your ndness is called into question.
      Part of a decades long propaganda campaign though people are breaking
      This breaking of ranks compels both AIM and the leadership to attempt
      a makeover by attempting to insert themselves in issues like Standing
      Rock as high visibility players or Bank$ attempts to get involved in
      the issue of physical and sexual abuse of our women and children.
      If an issue gains traction it becomes a lure for them as they make an
      effort to be relevant, which in my opinion is their primary concern.

      • My thinking was my friend interviewing Denise would be to educate the various civil & human rights advocates & others he associates w/ in New Haven & New York & across the planet who read his articles & watch his interviews; inc. in the UK & Gaza & Palestine & the Occupying Apartheid State & elsewhere. He’s in New Haven & holds events at Yale; such as the Nader & Barghouti award I described. The Palestinians are watching you. As they have been. Though there will surely be denial among some there as well regarding revelations about AIM they are unfamiliar with. xxx

      • PS:Thanks for that video. (Our emails crossed again).

        “President of the Electoral College” LOL! Brilliant!

        & that drawing of the ladder. Lol!

        & please tell your elderly Palestinian friend & his son that your new Libnani friend says ‘Marhaba’.

        & the true meaning of our greeting may interest you:

        ‘Marhaba’. Arabic used as English ‘Hello’. From Syriac/Aramaen – my grandfather’s language. Mar = Lord/God. Haba = Love. Marhaba = God is Love.

        xxx Hayat

      • Will do re the friend.
        The Electoral College was designed to avoid an entirely unqualified
        populist figure assuming the presidency – obviously it failed miserably
        and is an antiquated system that lends itself to all the wrong things
        and should be done away with.
        Fox is a master at trolling Trump and does so based on the obvious, love

  14. A previous answer to you didn’t go through. Probably because there were 152 or 153 comments on here by then! I was sent another comment by you after that though; so it looks like you could still make a comment. So I will try again here & hope it posts.

    I’m happy for your friend who you & your grandmother helped.

    Ya habibi (my friend/love) the Rezin. (resin – aged lifegiving sap from the tree). I dreamt of Annie Mae Pictou all last night. When that happens I know I need to absorb & reflect & take off the armour for a bit before putting it back on again. Thanks for all your words & reading mine. Inshaallah (God willing) I will meet you in a little while down the road here!

    Love ~ Hayat (Means ‘Life’ in Arabic. = Zoe which is Greek for the same)

  15. Which speaks to the necessity of taking breaks as they arise,
    to rest between the rounds and to prioritize opponents and why
    I’m a boxing fan.
    There’s nowhere to run and actions speak louder than words, stand
    your ground and win or stand your ground and lose – the honor due
    to having stood your ground, not the trash talk that so often
    precedes a boxing match.

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